Comparing Notes

What We Need is Here

2011-05-11T12:50:00.000-04:00

What We Need is Here

by Wendell Berry

Geese appear high over us,

pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,

as in love or sleep, holds

them to their way, clear

in the ancient faith: what we need

is here. And we pray, not

for new earth or heaven, but to be

quiet in heart, and in eye,

clear. What we need is here.

Spirituality in Student Leadership

2011-05-02T18:46:00.004-04:00

I thought I would post this article I wrote awhile back on the ol' blog. It was published on the ACSD website, but if you're not a member, you can't read it. So for all of you (i.e. my family) who want to read it, here it is:

Integrating Spirituality in Student Leadership Involvement

Koinonia - Winter 2011 Issue

Apr 26, 2011
Andrew Lehr

Student leadership positions are not new aspects of higher education. For years, students have been given opportunities to lead their college campuses in various capacities; however, little attention has been paid to the spiritual implications and opportunities for student growth within these roles. As other trends within higher education rise, the need for leaders with spiritual wisdom becomes more important in higher education, and the process begins with our students (Astin, 2000). The rising trend of influencing and addressing spiritual development in student leadership positions encourages students to not only grow deeper in their relationship with their respective faith, but also to grow more holistically as humans.

Historically, the term “spirituality” has been ill-defined. Due to the ambiguous nature of this idea, there is no consensus regarding definitions for this term. This must be accounted for when considering spirituality in student leadership. So, as not to limit the amount of research considered or the thoughts involved in this idea, its definition remains broad to include multiple ideas. According to the literature, spirituality, or “faith development” as Love (2005) calls it, can be defined as the process of developing meaning-making in the world not limited to a single religion or faith (Gehrke, 2008; Love, 2005). It is a universal need for all students to implement into their lives (Gehrke, 2008). It promotes the interconnectedness of thinking, and weaves together action and belief (Garber, 1996; Love, 2001). Spirituality, then, is not limited to a specific faith or religion, but is the idea that each person is spiritual and has the capacity to grow spiritually over the course of their lifetime, especially during their college years. Love notes that this development “lies beyond the range of ordinary perception and experience and thus is ultimately unknowable, and it remains within us and the particulars of our experience” (Love, 2001, p.8).

In the same way, leadership has been difficult to define. Prior to approximately the last twenty years, leadership had been limited to the industrial, managerial realm until the emergence of the idea of transformational leadership. Burns (1982), in his bookLeadership, describes leadership as “a relationship of mutual stimulation and elevation that converts followers into leaders and may convert leaders into moral agents” (p.4). Leadership, then, took on a moral emphasis opposed to simply a power-wielding position. In an effort to define it more specifically in higher education, a leadership model of social change emerged, in which students go through “a purposeful, collaborative, values-based process that results in positive social change” (Komives, Wagner, & Associates, 2009, p. xii). Leadership, then, is not limited to a specific type of position, but refers to a holistic process that occurs in a variety of campus leadership positions.

In 2009, Haber and Komives conducted research on the roles of students in leadership and involvement experiences, focusing on their development as leaders in relation to social change (Haber & Komives, 2009). Interestingly, much of their research uncovered the differences between genders in leadership. Men were less intentional about seeking out leadership opportunities, including community service and leadership opportunities, while women actively sought these out (Haber & Komives, 2009). For both sexes, formal leadership training proved not to be a significant factor (Haber & Komives, 2009). In another study, researchers found that faculty involvement, mentoring, and community service contributed significantly to students’ development. Additionally, this study indicated that the most significant factor in student leadership development is peer-to-peer conversations regarding socio-cultural issues (Dugan & Komives, 2010).

On the other end of the spectrum, spiritual development continues to become more integrated with holistic learning in the university. Spiritual searching for fulfillment can be evidenced through increased involvement in service-learning initiatives, the new age movement, attraction to cultic religions, and the servant-leadership model (Love & Talbot, 1999). Through these avenues, students made it clear that they are spiritual beings in need of development in that aspect of their lives as well.

The Social Change model of leadership provides an example of a leadership framework that incorporates spiritual development into its structure. Originally developed in the early 90’s, the Social Change model sough to emphasize the idea of leadership as a process which enhances students’ self-knowledge and leadership competence, as well as creating positive social change in the community (Astin & Astin, 1996). This model accommodates for students who hold non-traditional leadership roles, a unique contribution to the realm of leadership. Students operating in this model hope to gain critical values such as (but not limited to) consciousness of self, congruence, collaboration, and citizenship. While this model emphasizes growth within the group or organization, it also encourages individual growth, recognizing that leadership is more than just holding a position. Students grow more when they are encouraged to develop as whole persons, not just as position-holders. Yasuno states, more leadership models are emphasizing “leadership as a relationship” (Yasuno, 2008, p. 3).

This model quickly found its way into college student development circles and is built upon previous ideas. Experts such as Palmer describe leadership as a spiritual practice in which not only the leader engages with spirituality, but so do those whom are led (Palmer, 1994). These leadership models emphasize non-hierarchical leaders that seek to collaborate with their fellow peers rather than trying to tyrannically rule over them. This aspect alone changes leadership from formal position holding to those who would effect positive social change (Astin & Astin, 1996; Yasuno, 2008). Such an emphasis leads to the connection to spirituality in which students lead from a place of inner strength rather than outer appearance or position (Yasuno, 2008).

Students operating in non-hierarchical leadership models awaken to spirituality in positive ways that develop both their spiritual lives and leadership competence (Outcalt, Faris, & McMahon, 2001). In a case study done by Outcalt, Faris & McMahon (2001), a student in a leadership position found that her ability to lead her peers in her program enabled her to reach deeper into her own spiritual life. She reported that her leadership experience taught her that she could lead simply by being her own person, and “living out [her] faith in such a tangible way gave [her] a sense of purpose and direction” (Outcalt, Faris, & McMahon, 2001, p. 136). Students in leadership positions, particularly non-hierarchical models, are able to fully understand and claim their gifts and passions and simultaneously foster their spiritual development (Outcalt, Faris, & McMahon, 2001). Outcalt, Faris, and McMahon (2001) also highlight the idea that leadership requires personal congruence since leadership “emanates from an integrative, holistic spirituality based on service with and for others” (p. 131). The connection, therefore, between leadership and spirituality is crucial for the students’ leadership development and personal development (Outcalt, Faris, & McMahon, 2001).

Susan Gehrke (2008) became one of the first to study the correlation between spirituality and leadership development. Each of her measures between the two ended in a positive correlation, illustrating the positive connection between spirituality and leadership, even if some were very weak (Gehrke, 2008). The strongest connection exists between “aspects of equanimity and components of socially responsible leadership” (Gehrke, 355, 2008). Equanimity signifies a mental evenness especially under stress. Gehrke says it is a sense of connection with humanity and the ability to make meaning out of hardships, a point of connection with the social change model of leadership (Gehrke, 2008). Equanimity closely resembles elements of leadership including citizenship, inner congruence, and self-awareness (Gehrke, 2008). Students in leadership also wrestle with developing a meaningful philosophy of life, something that extends far beyond the bounds of leadership itself and incorporates the whole person as a spiritual being (Gehrke, 2008). In their research on spirituality in higher education, Astin, Astin and Lindholm (2010) found that providing opportunities for students to grow spiritually not only positively affects their leadership skills, but academic performance, self-confidence, psychological health, and overall college experience. These findings were similar to those of Gehrke’s.

Extracurricular leadership experiences have a high correlation to spiritual growth for students. Spiritual growth can occur when organizations incorporate clarifying values and goals into their planning (Capeheart-Meningall, 2005). As such, these organizations will aid students in recognizing the values and beliefs that shape their actions (Capeheart-Meningall, 2005). For example, in a case study done within a Christian student organization, Magolda and Ebben (2006) discovered that students who were attending the organization’s events were able to grow despite various differences in lifestyles and personalities. The particular organization provided several layers of involvement for students to enhance their learning experiences, challenging them in their abilities to “work collaboratively with their peers, define their own beliefs, and develop leadership skills” (Magolda & Ebbens, 2006, p. 292). While the organization itself is spiritual in nature, the developments that take place within such an organization also allow for leadership developments. These implications not only hold weight in faith-based institutions, but secular institutions as well (Magolda & Ebbens, 2006). Students in extracurricular positions, including those in leadership, may be using these positions to develop spiritual meaning as well (Love, 2001). Astin and Astin (2000) concur, saying that giving students opportunities to tie their spirituality, as well as other vectors of their lives, into their leadership positions allows for students to “practice commitment to developing shared purposes, develop competence in effecting a division of labor, and be challenged to interact authentically and with integrity as they learn to reconcile disagreements with respect” (p. 53).

While the focus of this research points toward students, this trend has implications for student development professionals as well. Potentially most important is the need for student development professionals to model these behaviors (Astin, 1996). Rogers and Dantely (2001) argue that student development professionals must model spiritual growth in their leadership and invite fellow faculty and students to journey alongside them in their search for spiritual fulfillment. Palmer (1994) advocates for professionals demonstrating these attributes because we “project” either a spirit of light or darkness on the world through our leadership (p. 24). If leaders are projecting their spiritual lives on the world around them, then they must take care to project the correct light, and not shadow (Palmer, 1994). In the same way, Palmer (1994) describes our spiritual development as essentially a personal matter, but not necessarily a “private matter” (p. 38). Our development cannot be left alone to ourselves. The more willing leaders are to show their spiritual developments, the more students can be transparent in their own spiritual development. If we are to emphasize whole-person growth in students, we must be willing to show our own holistic growth in our interactions with colleagues, peers and students (Rogers & Dantely, 2001). By doing so, we co-create a holistic environment alongside students when we use our leadership to model our spiritual lives (Palmer, 1994).

The literature, although not extensive, indicates that an emphasis on the connection between leadership and spirituality can help nurture holistic growth in students. Not only does this imply the need to address spirituality in leadership, but it also implies the growing need for colleges to address the issue of spirituality both in and out of the classroom. Not only does addressing spirituality in leadership roles help students develop a greater understanding of social change and action, but it encourages empathy, equanimity, and camaraderie. For student development professionals, addressing and modeling spirituality with student leaders can lead to deeper growth within students and encourage connectedness in their lives. More than that, as Palmer (1994) says, “we can lead, instead, from an inner place of trust and hope, thus creating a world that is more hopeful and more trustworthy” (p. 40). Leadership, then, not only can benefit greatly from our inner spiritual lives and our students’ lives, but the world can as well.

Andrew Lehr serves as a Graduate Assistant for Student Programs at Taylor University, located in Upland, Indiana.

References

Astin, A.W. & Astin, H.S. (1996). A social change model of leadership development guidebook. 3. Retrieved from: http://www.mynccpa.org/

Astin, A.W. & Astin, H.S. (2000). Leadership reconsidered: Engaging higher education in social change. Battle Creek, MI: W.K. Kellogg Foundation. Retrieved from http://www.eric.ed.gov/.

Astin, A.W., Astin, H.S., & Lindholm, J.A. (2010). A national study of spirituality in higher education: Students’ search for meaning and purpose. Retrieved fromhttp://spirituality.ucla.edu/findings/.

Burns, J.M. (1982). Leadership. Retrieved from http://books.google.com

Capeheart-Meningall, J. (2005). Role of spirituality and spiritual development in student life outside the classroom. New Directions for Teaching and Learning, 104, 31-36.

Dugan, J.P. & Komives, S.R. (2010). Influences on college students' capacities for socially responsible leadership. Journal of College Student Development, 51 (5), 525-549. doi: 10.1353/csd.2010.0009.

Garber, S. (1996). The fabric of faithfulness. Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press.

Gehrke, S.J. (2008). Leadership through meaning-making: An empirical exploration of spirituality and leadership in college students. Journal of College Student Development, 49 (4), 351-359. doi: 10.1353/csd.0.0014.

Haber, P. & Komives, S.R. (2009). Predicting the individual values of the social change model of leadership development: The role of college students’ leadership and involvement experiences. Journal of Leadership Education, 7 (3), 133-165. Retrieved from http://fhsu.org.

Komives, S.R., Wagner W. & Associates. (2009). Leadership for a better world. Retrieved from http://books.google.com/

Love, P.G & Talbot, D. (1999). Defining spiritual development: A missing consideration for student affairs. NASPA Journal, 37 (1), 361-375. Retrieved from http://journals.naspa.org.

Love, P.G. (2001). Spirituality and student development: Theoretical connections.New Directions for Student Services, 95, 7-16.

Magolda, P.M. & Ebben, K. (2006). College student involvement and mobilization: An ethnographic study of a Christian student organization. Journal of College Student Development, 47 (3), 281-298. doi: 10.1353/csd.2006.0032.

Outcalt, C.L., Faris, S.K., McMahon, K.N. (2001). Developing non-hierarchical leadership on campus: Case studies and best practices in higher education. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press.

Palmer, P.J. (1994). Leading from within: Out of the shadow, into the light. In J.A. Conger, Spirit at Work (pp. 19-40). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. Retrieved from www.library.wisc.edu.

Rogers, J.L., Dantley, M.E. (2001). Invoking the spiritual in campus life and leadership. Journal of College Student Development 42 (6), 589-603.

Yasuno, M. (2008). The role of spirituality in leadership for social change. Spirituality in Higher Education Newsletter, 4 (3), 1-8. Retrieved from http://www.spirituality.ucla.edu/.

Snapshots

2011-04-07T22:46:00.004-04:00

I just posted my engagement story below, so be sure to read that first as it will explain a large chunk of these next posts.

I haven't had a lot of time to post this year (or desire when I write a lot for my classes anyway) but I felt the calling to blog to the great unknowing internet again tonight. Instead of writing a long-winded post about my thoughts on my fiancée, light & darkness, Dearborn, MAHE, and more, I thought I'd just post some snapshots of my life lately.

Maria and I are engaged. It's been incredible. Here are some of our engagement pictures taken by my future sister-in-law!
I just started on my thesis that will consume the rest of my MAHE career.
ManChurch, our annual Men's Ministry event, went incredibly well and I was super proud.
I traveled to Dearborn, MI, with a team of 13 others for Spring Break to minister to the Muslim population there. It was an incredible learning experience.
Light drives out all darkness.
I really like Sufjan Stevens now. I know, it took me awhile.
Some music I'm listening to: Matthew and the Atlas, Laura Marling, The Head and the Heart, William Fitzsimmons, and The National.
"If you don't feel passionate, be faithful." - Tim Herrmann
The Civil Wars are great live. Maria and I stole away for a concert down in Cincinnati last week and it was incredible. Here's a taste and my new favorite song by them.

I'm Engaged!

2011-04-07T22:43:00.004-04:00

So I realize that I haven't posted Maria and I engagement's story! I apologize (Mom and Dad). Here is an account of the proposal and ensuing engagement:

As Maria traveled halfway around the world to Jordan and Israel on January 8th, 2011, she opened a letter Andrew had given to her before he left for Philadelphia a few days earlier. Inside was the beginning of what would be twenty other letters, each with a special message. Each letter was a mark on the timeline of their relationship, reaching back to when they first met, their first date, the first time Andrew said "I love you". Andrew, very pleased by his work, called this their "Timeline of Love". Each day while they were apart, Maria opened a new letter to find a new mark on the timeline all thanks to Dr. Kevin Diller who so cleverly delivered Andrew's letters while in Jordan, and to Scott and Jenny who delivered them upon her return.

Maria, expecting Andrew to arrive back in Indiana later in January, was anxious to get back to Taylor and tie a yellow ribbon around a tree while she waited for Andrew to get home. Unbeknownst to Maria, Andrew booked his flight a few days earlier than he had originally told her to surprise her. Originally planning on flying back on the 26th, Andrew was waylaid due to an intense snowstorm that nailed Philly. Thanks to Travis Yoder and some quick planning and lots of prayers, Andrew was able to fly back on the 27th.

Maria arrived back to Taylor on the evening of the 27th. Her parents and sister took Maria out to dinner at Cracker Barrel and Scott continued to order catfish while stalling for Andrew to get back. In the meantime, Andrew and his parents were frantically making their way up I-69 to reach Taylor. They went to the Upland Bridge, a special place for the couple, and set up several tea lights in the lightly falling snow.

On their way back from dinner, Maria's family dropped her off by the bridge and told her someone was waiting for her. As she exited the car, she saw Andrew standing on top of the bridge. The two embraced for the first time in a long time, thrilled to see each other again. Andrew gave Maria the last of her letters, including one more to make up for the day he had missed due to the snowstorm. After reading a section from "The Little Prince" and some Scripture, Andrew got down on one knee.

She said yes.

Presence

2010-09-20T19:24:00.005-04:00

Once again, it has been quite a long time since I last updated this site. I can't believe that I'm actually writing again simply because I've been paralyzed not by the length of time it has been since my last post, but by the sheer amount of things that I have learned in the past few months that I could write about in this little corner of the inter-webs. For those of you who don't know, I just started my first semester of grad school back here at Taylor in the Masters of Higher Ed program. It has been kind of a whirlwind of retreats (which Christians apparently love more than any other people group in the world), classes, spontaneous time with my girlfriend (who is also in the program) and time on the job. Needless to say, I have been a fair bit busier than I expected when I first came into the program.

As I said earlier, it has been hard to determine what to write about as I felt like I've learned a good deal in my short time here. MAHE has given me a great deal to process, not to mention my assistantship or let alone this past summer. Up until now, I've not really been ready to write on any of these things because they are so deeply personal or because they are full of half-thoughts that would be very confusing for you to read (much like most of my thoughts - my apologies). However, tonight I had dinner with one of the missionaries I got to know while I spent some time in Southeast Asia and it reminded me of my experience and caused me to reflect a bit on my experience there and what I've learned from it.

While I was in SE Asia, I was hit by the impact of a person's presence. The people we met there were so great at sitting and chatting with any of us and taking time out of their busy days to just be with us. That lesson hit me hard as I came back to the States and had to readjust to our fast-paced culture once again. I thought I was doing pretty well at making time for my friends or taking life slow. When I thought more about this, I realized that I was wrong. I have been doing a terrible job at slowing down enough to be able to stop and have a conversation with someone. I've forgotten to be fully present.

In a time in my life when I'm trying to figure out what I'm actually doing with my life, it is easy for me to forget to care enough to stop and relax. I want to soak in the short moments I have during my grad program and allow for God to speak in ways that I don't hear as easily when I'm moving too fast. If I am to be involved with student development, then I need to be more aware of opportunities to invest in others even when it seems inconvenient for me.

Story

2010-03-22T20:25:00.006-04:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking about 'story' lately.

I distinctly recall moving in my freshmen year, especially since I moved in on my birthday and was almost dubbed "birthday guy" by my PA, who coincidentally, is now one of my best friends. Maybe because he didn't nickname me that. Fast-forward four years and here I sit, a lame duck of a PA, wishing I could join the circus until I go to grad school. Time, you fickle mistress, you have betrayed me.

As I think about what I will be leaving behind on my floor or on campus in general, the realization sets in that I will be very quickly forgotten, even while I'm still at Taylor. Despite my reign as PA on my floor for the past couple of years or any of the other leadership positions I've been in, I'll be forgotten soon enough. More leaders will come. Four more years from now, no one will remember who Andrew Lehr was or what he did. My story here is quickly ending. I know that I have learned so much from my time here on my floor and gained more than I can ever give back, and I struggle to sum it up in words.

I don't want to.

If I had to put all of my lessons learned into words, into some tangible form of media, a few things might happen: you might stop reading (i'm surprised you made it this far), you might fall asleep, my fingers might collapse, or I would give up. It's just not worth it. But I want to tell my story so desperately because my story is linked within God's story. His story has interwoven itself in mine, encompassed mine, and has given meaning to my story.

I just finished reading John Steinbeck's The Red Pony, about a boy's journey to maturity through a series of difficult life circumstances that come his way. I'm reminded of what the boy's grandfather tells him at one point,

"I tell those old stories, but they're not what I want to tell.

I only know how I want people to feel when I tell them."

I know that my story has significance to me. It has significance to those close to me. It has significance to God. But my story is not what's important. People will get tired of my talking about how much I love my friends and family. People will stop wanting to hear the story about the worst pick-a-date ever. People don't care that I ate so many banana crepes that I puked. People don't care that I did a whole bunch of things.

What's important is what people feel when I tell those stories. It's what I wanted those people to feel while my story was being written. It's what I want people to feel when they hear about my story. It's what I want people to feel when they hear God's story. My story, while important, finds its purpose in the feeling those who hear get in their chest when they hear it. It's just a matter of living in a way that makes that feeling a good feeling.

What? I have a blog?

2010-03-19T20:29:00.008-04:00

Why hello blogosphere! It's been awhile hasn't it? I don't really know why I'm updating this because I think my mom and dad are the only people who actually read this, but I felt the urge to write today. Ergo, here I am.

Looking back, it seems that the summer was the last time I posted here, aside from relaying my roommate's Mario poem to you, so there's quite a lot to catch up on. Here are the most important things (in no particular order of importance):

I started to date the most amazing girl in the world, Maria Tsuleff. She's pretty incredible. She knows more about history than I know about Power Rangers (which is quite a lot), she's got the most incredible heart for the Lord, and I can't believe she's dating me. For the record, it's a pretty cool thing when you start to date your best friend. The feeling is quite unmatched. I could go on and on, but you would just say, "Andrew, we know. Shut up about it already" like my roommate does.
I was accepted (and so was Maria) into Taylor's Masters of Arts in Higher Ed program for this next fall! It has been quite the ride deciding about which path to pursue as far as further education, but I'm pumped that the Lord has led me back to this place for the next two years and I can't wait to see what He will do in my life. I've also been hired as the Student Programs graduate assistant, which was my top pick and I cannot wait.*
PA things are going incredibly well. I couldn't have asked for a better floor to have my senior year of college. It will be hard to leave. But it makes it all the sweeter knowing that I'm going to be working in student development in the future when I have times like this to look forward to later down the road.
I finally own a Snuggie.
I joined Men's Ministry this year and it has been a great experience. The guys I work with are great and I'm glad I've gotten to know them this year. What's even better is that I might be able to help out with it even next year!
I've been invited to 6 weddings so far. Holy. Crap.
I've joined a Fantasy Baseball league for the first time. I'm planning on getting some help from friends like Dauthan and Yoder to pull me through. But I'm excited.
Did I mention Maria and I started dating?

All things considered, God has really done some amazing things in my life this past year so far. Although I've basically bragged about how great my life is right now, there definitely have been some challenges too, but God has shown his faithfulness so readily to me this year. And don't worry, hopefully I'll write more insightful things as time goes and the semester draws closer to an end, especially as I reflect on my undergrad experience in sum.

*I've decided to drop of out school until next fall and join the circus as a lion tamer (except I'll come back to go to my Challenge/Ropes Course class because its kind of like training for the circus) because I'm just so excited.

Playing Mario

2010-02-03T17:40:00.002-05:00

This poem, written by my roommate Ryan Duncan, was inspired by me wasting time before watching the season premier of Lost the other night. It is awesome.

Playing Mario

Multicolored mushrooms float along eager melodies,

As feet race atop the rainbow road.

Precarious platforms could spell mortal peril,

But a fire flower is worth the risk of failure.

Armies of monsters adamantly approach,

Irritably intent on exposing my innards

A grizzly Goomba prepares to grapple,

As treacherous turtles pick a target.

A flurry of fireballs incinerate my foes,

Until I’m blindsided by a billowing Boo.

Another life lost, thanks a ton Luigi.

Shamefully shrunk, I must now be shrewd.

Three heroic hops and my enemies are hewn

Now closely comb the rest of the course,

And swiftly search for a place to save.

I yearn to ride a yellow Yoshi,

While fighting against the game’s final fiend

I take a brutal beating from Bowser

But steal victory with a super star!

Princess peach, the ultimate prize.

Irresistible Revolution

2009-07-29T15:11:00.002-04:00

"Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer."
- Dorothy Day

I just finished reading Shane Claiborne's book "The Irresistible Revolution" yesterday, and if you haven't read it, I would highly recommend it. It has definitely made the top charts of summer reading.

There's quite a lot of controversy surrounding this book, or at least I've experienced some of that this summer. What Shane has to say is pretty different and something that hasn't been heard of for many years (like since the Monastic movement pretty much), but I think a lot of what he has to say is worth hearing and acting on. Shane is a very convicting writer and brings a lot of good points to the table. I also trust his points (most of them) due to his credentials. Shane isn't some spiritual guru who woke up one afternoon, donned his bandanna, threw up a few peace sign spray paintings, and decided to write a book. He really knows his stuff. He researched, went to seminary, university, and all that jazz. I'm frustrated with those who blow off his book because he isn't smart enough when we've got writers in the Christian circles who try to draw an entire book out of two verses like the Prayer of Jabez.* So know that Shane is talking pretty intelligently about this stuff, even if he does passionately rant for awhile.

The only thing I didn't like about his thoughts were his ideas on politics and civic duty. I feel like some of what he said is ok, but he seems to take it a bit too far. I believe strongly that Christians need to be involved with the political world and fulfilling their civic duty as members of a country instead of completely removing themselves from it. I think there is a lot to be said for Christian ethics influencing how we interact with politics and the world needs more people that are willing to do so intelligently, which means actually researching and learning and making valid opinions based on that information rather than reading some junk off the interweb. It also means being able to converse intelligently about topics rather than shutting yourself in your own opinion. Regardless, Shane's political views were tangental at best in this book.

The rest of it, however, is incredibly convicting. My favorite part of the book was Shane's great and purposeful use of quotes from people like Mother Teresa, Soren Kirkegaard, Dorothy Day and Dr. MLK Jr. I love quotes. He also has some really powerful stories of God moving to help the poor and the outcasts of this world that are great in the book, but even better heard in person.

If you haven't read this book, seriously consider reading it, even if you have to borrow it from someone else. It will, as the book says, "comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable."

*please, save yourself the time and don't read the Prayer of Jabez book. Instead, read 1 Chronicles 4 as a whole and see that there's more than just "enlarging your territory" or whatever that means.

Saw that Golden Compass in Half

2009-07-18T00:50:00.003-04:00

Ok, I don't really have much to say tonight, but I just want everyone to know these two things in a "half" review. (Great title, right? I'm so funny).

1. "Saw" is a terrible movie. Not much else needs to be said after that. Waste of my time. Good thing I have a lot of that to waste this summer though.

2. I just finished reading The Golden Compass (the first book in the trilogy) and I have to say, in case you were unaware, it is blatantly atheistic. I knew going into it that it would be, but it kind of caught me off guard with how obvious it is. This doesn't really offend me or anything like that - it isn't a surprise that Christianity has some people who don't like it, so I'm not upset or annoyed or irritated or offended by this book, but I am a little surprised as to how it was written. Every book or novel has something to say (just like in film although I think what Saw is trying to say is watch out for crazy dudes with tumors and cut your foot off if you need to). In fiction, I would typically expect the author to portray his point in a subtle, roundabout fashion with themes, motifs and other literary devices. Not so with The Golden Compass. It has its fantasy element and it's plot and themes, but then BAM, Pullman (the author) hits you square between the eyes with his view of God and organized religion.

That being said, don't watch Saw, but read the Golden Compass. Save your eyes the pain and stimulate your brain.

Noah's Ark

2009-07-10T20:35:00.003-04:00

Joanna came to visit today and, I have to say, it was a blast. We didn't do anything spectacular or off-the-charts, but it was really fun to be with her and we did make peanut-butter-oatmeal-chocoloate-chip cookies which are really awesome. But speaking of charts, we did make a chart for me to keep baseball standings updated while I'm here over the summer. I must say, its a very sexy chart. You'll have to see it sometime. But, alas, she had to leave today, and next weekend, she'll be in Texas as well as the following weekend. Basically, this means I'm going to be bored and lonely for about two weeks. Woohoo.

I decided to set aside some time tonight to share a little about my experience thus far as an intern. I have to say, this experience is far better than my devil-camp experience*, but it has been incredibly challenging. Not really because the work is hard or anything along those lines, but because God is challenging the way that I view His church.

I've never been a part of a mega-church before, and while Newpointe isn't a huge church, it is definitely the biggest I've been a part of. With over 4000 attending on a Sunday, it far exceeds what I've been a part of before. This is a struggle for me, honestly. I'm excited to see how God is moving in this church, but I also wonder about quite a few things. I have yet to come to many conclusions about my views of the church, but I've taken to reading three solid pieces this summer about different views of the church. I'm reading Acts (seems like a really good place to start**), Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, and An Unstoppable Force by Erwin McManus. Each present their own view on some part of the church, and I love comparing and contrasting how each one portrays it. But rather than posting my unresolved thoughts on certain matters, I will leave you, faithful audience (hi mom and dad), with the main issues I'm struggling through.

How relevant should the church be in today's world? As far as allowing culture in, shaping culture, or shying away from it, how far should we go? How "seeker-friendly" should the church be? The church is offensive at some point, but where is that and how are we to approach it?
Where do numbers come into play? Should we look at numbers in the church at all, or just leave that up to God? Should we count how many people came to Christ, or should we just be thankful?
What is the point of a youth group? Should we have them?
What about the poor? How much money should we spend on signs and how much should we give away? Is a 15million dollar (real number) building too much or worth the expense to make people feel comfortable inside the building? (I've pretty much already decided my feelings on this one, but that's for another post.)

Needless to say, this has been a stretching summer so far, and I know that Jesus isn't quite done yet. I heard this analogy from Shane Claiborne when he came to speak at Taylor: The church is kind of like Noah's Ark - it smells really bad and is cramped and uncomfortable, but if you get off, you drown.

I look forward to sharing stories with you all at some point and hearing your thoughts on these things as well.

*It wasn't a satanic camp or anything, but it sucked. Ask for more details and you shall receive a long explanation that you won't really want to hear.
**Get it, "start"? I'm so punny.

The Road

2009-07-09T09:19:00.007-04:00

I love reading, but sometimes, I hate what it does to me. Last night, in an effort to finish this book, I stayed up waaay to late as I sped through the final pages of Cormack McCarthy's "The Road". I just couldn't put it down. In the front cover, there was a review that said exactly how I felt, that "you can't put it down because it feels as though your very reading is necessary for the character's survival." Very true of this book.

"The Road" is a moving story about a journey a father and his son take through the barren and ashy wastelands of a post-apocalyptic world. As they journey to the coast line, searching for God knows what, they encounter bandits, thieves, and even worse. Not a day goes by when they aren't hungry to some degree, and most of the time, they're starving. As they continue down the road, the relationship of the father and son unfolds and gives a glimpse into their hearts.

I was really moved by the love the father had for his son. He spent all his energy protecting him and attempting to encourage his son when things got tough. The relationship between them was a beautiful thing. While the situation they were in may be far off from they way the world is now, the theme of the father's undying love for his son transcends that difference.

Another theme that made a big impression on me was the idea of hope. I don't want to ruin any of the book for you, so I won't give any specific examples; however, the idea of hope pops up everywhere in this book, and how necessary it is for human existence. If we don't have hope, then what is life worth living for? Hope is what carries us and what makes each day worth it in the end.

I would highly recommend this to anyone who hasn't read it.* It definitely has made my favorites list. Some other reasons you might want to read it are:

1. Entertainment Weekly named it the "Best Book, fiction or non-fiction, of the past 25 years" (above Harry Potter and Beloved).
2. It's in Oprah's Book Club (which is actually really good).
3. He wrote it while he was in Ireland.
4. It's really good.

*This is being made into a movie that's coming out in October. Read the book first for sure, but I'm excited about the movie.

I'm So 3008

2009-07-07T16:13:00.004-04:00

The summer is a great time to find new music as well, which I endeavor to do each time around, so here's a quick look at what I've been listening to lately.

Regina Spektor - Far
Her new album is a great listen. I've heard some say that it just isn't Regina, but I really like the way she took this album. Her songs are thought-provoking and deep, and her music is incredibly good. "Eet" and "Laughing With" are two songs that I really enjoy from the album, as well as the creative and poignant song "Machine".

Ray LaMontagne - Gossip in the Grain
Good cd. I'm glad I bought it in the end, although I won't say that I could listen to him all day. The live songs are really great, and I really enjoy the songs "Trouble" and "Achin' All The Time".

David Crowder Band - How He Loves
This single excites me for his new CD that will be coming out in September, called "church music". If this is only the radio edit, I'm pumped to hear what the real deal will be when it comes.

Cage the Elephant - Ain't No Rest for the Wicked
I really like this song. It's probably my guilty pleasure of the summer. Nothing special, but catchy and reminds me of Modest Mouse in a folksy-weird-bangs-and-random-instrument-sounds way.

Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow
Because I'm so three-thousand and eight. You're so two-thousand and eight.

Can't Get It Right Today - Joe Purdy
Love this song. So simple, but so good. I love getting this song stuck in my head. Definitely would recommend. And its on some commercial for some car or something like that.

That's all for now. I'm cheap so I don't just go buy albums whilly-nilly anymore, although I'd really like to check out Andrew Bird and Wilco's new album, as well as DMB's new CD. Alas, such is the life of a poor college student.

1000 Splendid Suns

2009-06-30T09:02:00.011-04:00

Summer reading has returned!! I just finished reading Khaled Hosseini’s second book A Thousand Splendid Suns. I loved reading his first book, The Kite Runner, a few years back and was really looking forward to reading this new one. I have to say, I wasn’t disappointed with this novel. I really enjoyed reading this book and it helped open my eyes a bit more to the various struggles in Afghanistan and especially the struggles of women in that country.

There were some parts of the book that I was outraged to read because of the injustice. Husbands beating their wives, women having to cover up their whole bodies to go outside, lack of money given to orphanages, things that just don’t happen anymore in the United States. The severe lack of social justice in this situation is appalling and I can’t believe it never really hit me until now. Hosseini does a great job of portraying his characters in this novel just as he did in his first. I felt so connected to Laila and Mariam and Tariq by the end of the book that it was like saying goodbye to an old friend when it was done. But then again, that may just be the way it is when I read books I like. Adam Trask is still one of my best friends.*

I would highly recommend this book to anyone. I think that more people need to be aware of the issues that Hosseini presents here and need to be aware that women are treated differently even in the US, while it may not seem like it all the time.

Props to Jo for letting me borrow her copy – like I’ve said countless times already, she’s an awesome woman and I’m glad that everyone can see how cute she is instead of being covered up by a big sheet.

*East of Eden by John Steinbeck

Not A Miserable anymore!!

2009-06-28T19:03:00.005-04:00

Finally. I'm done with that stupid book. In case you don't know the story around why I read Les Mis, this is for you.*

My girlfriend, Jo, and I decided to do a Book Swap before we left for Christmas break and before I left for SE Asia. We had recently discussed how she had a part in her school's production of Les Mis, and I had expressed interest in reading it. When the time came to swap books, we decided that I would read Les Mis, but since it is so huge, I gave her three books in return. She got The Posionwood Bible, Ender's Game, and East of Eden (favorite book). THat's not the point though. THe point is that there are certain rules to doing a book-swap, namely, that the person trading the book in question must have read the book in advance.

Guess what. She hadn't read it. HOW LAME. And no, if you were wondering, I'm not letting this go.

So instead of writing a book review about a book that took six months to practically finish**, I just wanted to let you know how slighted I was in this swap and how now she has to give in a read Harry Potter (which is a lot easier to read than Les Mis I might add). I'm asking you, web-community, to hold her accountable and to encourage her on to love and good deeds and to getting the rightful comupance for her actions.

In all fairness, I liked Les Miserables. It was an interesting read, but it was ridiculously long. The ending made up for the long descriptions and the unncessarily lengthy descriptions of characters not present within the book. I know that they are put there for literary devices and to support the themes and whatnot, but they've always irritated me. That's why I dropped the English major.

And don't worry, Jo has two copies of Cliff Notes for her own reading pleasure when she chooses to read up on Les Mis instead of reading it herself.

And for clarification's sake, and my own as a boyfriend, I have to say that although we both have our faults, my girlfriend is absolutely incredible!

*abbrev's are cool. get with it.
**not because i read slow, but because more important things got in the way, like school and my girlfriend.

Mr. TU talent

2009-06-13T11:33:00.001-04:00

because i love you for reading my blog, i'm embarrassing myself for you.

This Cubs game is stressing me out

2009-06-02T22:17:00.003-04:00

I started my job at Newpointe Community Church two days ago and now I'm sitting here, getting ready to go to bed early since I have to be a real person and wake up early, and watching the Cubs game. I have to say, this game is really intense. I'm very excited because I'm actually understanding more of what the announcers are saying than I would have a year ago, and I get excited and upset at the right times. For example, the Cubs walked two guys in the bottom of the 10th for some reason I don't know. That, I will admit, I don't understand because I would have just thought it best to man up and try to get the guy out, but oh well. Someone help me in that regard.

But, what I do understand is that with bases loaded, the Braves got a hit, and the Cubs had this amazing play and got the runner out before he got to first, moving them into the 11th inning. It was exciting. I'm well on my way to understanding more about baseball and the Cubs and earning more man-points.

But in more important news, I'm enjoying my time at Newpointe so far. I've felt really welcome at the church and I really like the people on staff there. The church is really growing (within 1 year they had about 600 new members) and I like the direction they are heading in. I'm still kind of anxious as I start to meet more people and gain more responsibility, and its hard to put myself in the "work" mindset over the "school" mindset. I come back from work and still feel like I should be doing stuff because I think "Oh, that paper is due tomorrow" when in reality, it's more like "Oh, that thing should get done before Sunday but I can do it at work" kind of thing.
For the past two days (my first two days) I've been stuck behind my desk (Yes, I have a cubicle, a computer, a phone and my own desk chair - awesome) working on the computer. Definitely not something I'm interested in doing for the rest of my life. I know that this is the nature of starting a job, so I'm excited to get to the point where I'm doing more than just typing things. It's also hard knowing that I'm only going to be there two and a half months, which means I won't make as deep of relationships with a lot of the people as I would in another environment. I pray that God will deepen those relationships in spite of the short amount of time, and if not that, that He would help deepen relationships I've already built. It feels very selfish to me to know that I'm going to be learning a lot more than I'm going to be able to give. I'm excited for the opportunity to put into practice what I've been learning over my past three years and use the lessons I've come to appreciate deeply to help others grow as well, and I pray that God would make those gifts readily available for me to remember and to implement well.

I'm going to try updating this guy more often throughout the summer since: 1) I don't get good cell phone service here except for when I'm out on top of the roof (literally) and 2) I won't see a lot of you much this summer and I want to keep you updated on what God's teaching me as I'm working at my internship.

summer goals

2009-05-26T23:38:00.003-04:00

Summer. Finally.

What a crazy year. I don't even know where to begin. I know for a fact that I haven't finished/even begun to process what this year meant to me. That is definitely in the works and I am actually looking forward to it because I know how beneficial it is to me. The year ended in a great way but it also means closing certain chapters and starting new ones, which is always tough for me.

I'm really looking forward to this summer. It will be the first time I'll be practically living on my own since I'll be in Ohio with one of my best friends, Steve Conn. I had him bring a TON of books home with him, so I'm really excited about all the reading I'll be doing in my spare time. Plus, we'll pwn some noobs in our spare time and go get a piece of pie at the local diner. Also, I'll be a LOT closer to my awesome girlfriend and that will be the best part. Also, if you haven't tried Mango Salsa Chicken Sandwiches, you really should. Best things ever. Not even kidding.

I'm also really ready to be doing something outside of the realm of academia. I'll be working as a Student Ministries Intern at Newpointe Christian Church, and I am pumped! It'll definitely be a challenge, but I'm really excited about it. I've never really worked in a position like this, so I'm really looking forward to see what God's going to do. Bring it on baby.

So, the point of this post - here are some goals outside of my internship that I have for this summer:

Read a ton. This includes finishing Les Miserables instead of pretending that I did.
Practice my guitar skillz a ton. I can't be as good as Ben Taylor, but I'll try. Plus, I'm teaching Steve, so I've got to pretend that I know what's going on.
Investigate grad schools. I'm really considering Taylor's Master of Arts in Higher Ed/Student Development, but I want to look at other schools for similar programs or counseling degrees.
Learn more about the sports teams I follow. Although I'd rather die before I learn any more about Lebron.
Plan some for next year. Senior year, baby - I'm gonna go out with a bang.
pwn some noobs with Beck, Steve and the Kirks.
Listen to Josh Ritter a ton. He's awesome.
Convince Dauthan to live in the Box with me when we're in the MAHE program.

As far as books go, I'm really open to suggestions. I've got some in mind, but if there's something I should read, by all means let me know. First on the agenda is the His Dark Materials series. I know, tough reading.

social (in)justice

2009-05-01T00:45:00.007-04:00

This past week was Social Justice week at Taylor, and while I didn't participate in all the events this year, I did go to hear Shane Claiborne speak - a really exciting opportunity to hear someone that I really respect and who has such a powerful voice in today's culture. Although I've never read his book Irresistible Revolution, I really want to now. I've been thinking a lot about what he spoke on, and it's really been a convicting time.

I've heard a lot of speakers this year. Probably more than I have in all my time at Taylor because of all the programs that have gone on this year, all the required lectures, and I think some maturing on my part to recognize good opportunities when they come along, including people like Shane. I have to say that it was truly refreshing to hear what Shane had to say. He was honest, genuine, and wasn't trying to sell me anything. He wasn't trying to push any ideology down my throat. He wasn't trying to convince me to do anything radical. He wasn't trying to get me to quit school and live on the streets. He simply wanted us to think, and with that, present us with a renewed perspective on truth that isn't brought up often enough.

After being in SE Asia, I've thought a lot about what it means to be poor and the issues that the impoverished have to deal with that I don't have to. The people there had so little but were so much better than me in some ways. They were more thankful, more hospitable, more loving. But if they didn't catch fish one day, they went hungry that night. The simple fact that there are people that go days without food while I complain about not getting better food in the DC is unjust. What is the church doing about these people?

There was once a group of women and children who found an abandoned Catholic cathedral in PA and took refuge inside of it. Eventually, after the archdiocese of the area found out about this "abuse" of property, he got ready to kick the women and kids out of the cathedral (remember, the abandoned one). The media jumped on the opportunity to bash the church and in order to save some face, the archdiocese brought the Fire Dept. in to say that the building wasn't safe to live in, and that by kicking the people out, he was only protecting them from potential harm. The night before the fire marshall showed up, some firemen appeared at the cathedral and installed the proper fire alarms, exit signs, and fire extinguishers. They risked their jobs to save these people. When the fire marshall showed up, he couldn't condemn the building and the women and kids were able to stay.

On a banner they had placed outside the cathedral in the midst of this situation, the women wrote "How can we worship a homeless man on Sunday and ignore one on Monday?"

I have to admit, I'm frustrated with a lot of the things that surround the church these days, social justice being a big one. I think that we've lost sight of what the church should be in these days. We've shut ourselves out of society in order to preserve our Christian roots, but what good is a church that's in heaven already while people are dying on earth? "We have to read the Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other."*

I've also been pretty frustrated this semester. Christians haven't lived up to what they supposedly believe and it has been severely disappointing. The church, even at Taylor, has failed in some ways. This especially popped up during election time. I have grown to appreciate this frustration, because it shows that something isn't perfect. It can be a hidden gift to the church if used properly, showing what needs to change. St. Augustine says "The church is a whore, but she's my mother."

What matters is who I am going to be in all of this. Who will I become one day? Better yet, what kind of person will I be, regardless of where I am or what I am doing? There are sides to take and issues to stand on, for sure. Dr. MLK Jr. dealt with this too. In a time where there were two sides, both extreme, he recognized that each person had to choose where they would stand. More importantly, he recognized that a person isn't defined by where they stand, but how they stand. "What kind of extremists will we be?" he once said.

What kind of extremist will you be?

*I don't think Shane said this. It was probably Tony Campolo.

song of the day

2009-04-22T23:42:00.002-04:00

 

made in wordle.com - thought i'd share how I feel today

unexpected

2009-04-17T01:14:00.002-04:00

Susan Boyle is my hero.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&fmt=18

remembering to breathe

2009-04-17T00:13:00.002-04:00

Well, its been awhile blog-fans (Hi Mom and Dad) and so I've decided to write a little bit about what I've been thinking about lately as I've got a little bit of energy left before I head to bed tonight. Also, i'm frustrated because I'm trying to listen to Susan Boyle sing on Youtube, but because of the amount of freshmen who need to be on Facebook, i am unable to even access this page without it taking some time. Oh well. I suppose my own music will have to do. It sucks having a iTunes giftcard and not having the decisive ability to choose a CD to buy within a healthy amount of time. It sits in my account for at least three weeks before I buy something on a regular basis. I tease it by listening to the 30-second clips over and over again of two different CD's, only to become befuddled in my decision-making and leave it heartbroken, sitting in that little corner of my iTunes store account for a potentially unlimited amount of time. But seriously...

These past few weeks have been incredibly interesting. Busy, complicated, unpredictable, hurtful, beautiful, and altogether unexpected. It is hard to discern what God has been trying to teach me over the past few weeks because I'm still in the middle of it, but I have been learning one big thing: humility.

For the first time, I was turned down for something I applied for. This was a real shock to me, which I realize sounds arrogant in itself, but it honestly was. I've been privileged to get accepted for the programs and positions I've applied for up until now, and it was very surprising to be turned down for the first time. It's good though, because it has reminded me that for some crazy reason or another the world goes on very well without Andrew Lehr (I know, you're as surprised as I am) and that there are people better qualified for positions than I am. However, this means that hopefully (and prayerfully) I'll be officially employed at Newpointe Christian Church this summer and living with one of my best friends and also 5 hours closer to my beautiful girlfriend!

God's will = Gonna happen. I may try to figure it out as best I can, and choose what I think God is leading me towards, but He's going to put me there in the end. I'm not a big fan of "trying to find God's will" because I think He wants us to search it out for ourselves, but He doesn't leave us alone in that search. Also, sometimes He's got different plans for us; hence, here I come Ohio! (Again, hopefully. If you wouldn't mind, keep praying that this works out)

I've also been having some "confirmation" about my thoughts about grad programs lately. I found out a friend of mine is planning on applying for the MAHE program, which is really encouraging because I was wondering if I would be the only one I knew about from Taylor applying. It would be awesome to be in the same cohort as DK, so we'll have to see if we get accepted. My passion for doing something along the lines of Student Development has been growing continually. I'm still going to apply for a couple other schools and at least one will go to a program for a masters in Counseling Psychology. This summer will be devoted to grad school searches for sure - I just hope I'm not too late in doing that search. If anything that I've going through lately has taught me anything its that to allow God to close doors rather than open them.

Currently, I feel ridiculously busy. Tomorrow I'm heading down to Indy to speak about SE Asia at my mom's school, and then rushing back for a leadership conference this weekend and then finally enjoying some quality time with Jo for the first time in too long. Next weekend, we've got Youth Conference, which I'm really excited about, but also know that it will drain me quite a bit. The weekend after that we've got floor activities/recoup time, then the weekend following that we've got our dorm holiday Bergwalliday, and then our last weekend on campus, and then graduation, and probably some more run-on sentences in blogs to appear in between that time. Three exams next week. My feet haven't touched the ground in too long, and they won't for some time it seems. This makes me nervous because I don't like not having time for reflection and I know I don't do well when I don't get that time. I'll have to make setting aside that time a priority. I also don't like not having time to spend with my friends and girlfriend. It sucks. I feel very fake when I do get that time because I'm so concerned that I say what I want to say rather than really being present with whoever I'm with. I'm not really ready for this year to be over because it means a lot of new things for next year, but it will be nice to break from work for a bit. God taught me to breathe in Ireland, and I think He's reminding me of that once again. I want to write more about that when its not 1:14am.

I'll be fine I'm sure, but it feels good to write it out simply to make my thoughts a bit clearer. I've had much more on my plate than this, so I'm not worried. Good things are happening and I'm pumped that I get to be part of them. Also, I have two Coldplay tickets for June in my possession currently and that is AWESOME.

SE Asia '09

2009-02-20T01:08:00.005-05:00

As you probably know, I spent the last month in SE Asia on a missions trip. I've had an incredibly hard time writing this post because there is so much I want to say, but typing it up seems to be so impersonal for such an experience. Thus, I have decided to post the letter I am sending out to those who supported me on this trip, whether through prayers or finances, because of a couple of reasons: 1- I already wrote it and I don't have to write something new, and 2- it sums up some of my experience pretty decently. This does not describe my experience in full (thank goodness), but i would love to sit down with you sometime and tell you about it and about the work that God is doing not only in SE Asia, but in the US as well! We'll get coffee since I drink that now. Or maybe we'll have some of the best tea ever - hot sweet tea from Indonesia.

I just want to thank you all (hi mom and dad) for your support. Your prayers mean so much to me and I know that you were interceding for us while we were there. In fact, my amazingly beautiful, wonderful girlfriend woke up a couple of times in the night and started praying for the Lighthouse teams, and it was during those times that we were on the islands and sharing the Gospel. We even prayed that God would wake people up to pray for us, and He really did. God is so good.

With that, i'll leave you with my note and a picture collage. Seriously, if you want to talk more about the trip, my experience, your experience, life, philosophy, East of Eden, Joanna, anything - I already want to talk to you. It'll be good.

Assalamualaikum! (Arabic for “Peace be upon you”!)

I’m back from SE Asia and wanted to send you a very condensed summary of our trip to let you know of how the Lord has changed me and of how He is at work on the Sea Tribe islands. I hope this letter finds you and yours well! I would love to tell you ever detail of my trip, but that would take pages upon pages and it still would not do it justice. So I’ve decided to give a brief overview of the trip, and share a couple of stories from my experiences.

Our team lived in three different islands in home stays, taught English in a school for a couple of days, and learned a fair amount of the language of the Sea Tribe islands. In between the island stays, we would travel back to our breathtakingly beautiful base camp, where I felt like I was living inside of a postcard. God’s creation there is absolutely incredible. The food was incredible, much to my surprise! We ate tons of fish, drank the best hot sweet tea in the world, played volleyball, ran around with loads of beautiful kids, and had amazing conversations with our hosts and with the people of the islands. Our ministry was, at its root, truly living authentically in front of these people and sharing our lives with theirs. We told stories of forgiveness and mercy, parables that Jesus told Himself, and asked deep questions and we were never found wanting in those conversations.

One story I would like to share with you is the story of my second home stay. We stayed with Pak Ali, the Qur’an teacher at the local mosque, and at first, we were unsure of how much he would listen to our stories or parables. The second night there, we discovered that he was open to Jesus and was willing to talk about him. After dinner that night, I got to share a story of mercy with him, and we proceeded to talk about his beliefs and ours. We hit a wall in our conversation and couldn’t move forward towards Jesus, and through God’s timing, one of our hosts, Mike, came inside. He simply asked Pak Ali what we had been talking about, was told we were discussing mercy and forgiveness, and then was able to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with them in the following conversation. I am so humbled that I was a part of such an amazing process that sometimes takes years and years on these islands.

On our second island, a house of girls from our team asked their hosts if they had dreamed anything out of the ordinary lately, which started the girls they were with to giggling. They pointed at one of their friends, whose face lit up as though she was the happiest woman alive. She told them that she had a recurring dream of a man in white who came to her and said “Repent”. When she asked the man who he was, he would reply “You will know when the time is right.” Whenever she was sad, she would think of him and be filled with joy and hope, and she would think about him often, yet she still did not know who she was. The women in that house, blown away by God’s timing, shared with her who that man was – Jesus Christ.

God is powerfully at work in the Sea Tribe islands. He is on the move and is showing Himself to the people there. The part that I find amazing is that He is doing the same thing here. While SE Asia may be halfway around the world, it does not mean that God is not. He is at work right here as well just as powerfully. And He is working in your life as well, although you may not see it now.

This trip was truly a life-changing experience for me. The Lord renewed my spirit so much on this trip, and rekindled passions that I had forgotten about for many years. He challenged my perceptions of missions, the poor, evangelism, life, and so much more. He gave me the blessing of an amazing team who I now count as my brothers and sisters. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support you gave to me and the team through your prayers and finances. You were just as much a part of the team as any of us were and I thank you so much for that. As cheesy as it sounds, we honestly could not have done it without you interceding for us like you were. God used you in amazing ways, and I want to be sure you know that. If you ever want to hear more of the trip, please give me a call. I would love to share more!

Thank you again for everything. May God make His face shine upon you and guide you.

(If you want to see more pictures, check these out. I'll add more soon)

Lighthouse '09

2008-12-30T19:27:00.003-05:00

As many of you know, I'll be traveling to SE Asia next month for a short-term missions trip to the people of the Sea Tribe islands. Taylor puts on this program called Lighthouse and students who are accepted into the program are selected for different trips all across the world to participate in a month long missions trip. Each trip is different and works with a different ministry. Really, its an awesome opportunity for students and I'm so glad that Taylor offers something like this.

In SE Asia, we'll be staying with different host families and learning about their lives and culture, as well as their beliefs and worldviews. We basically are doing some relational evangelism with these people as we share our own lives with them as well. The main thing we'll be doing "evangelistic-wise" is to be sharing parables with the people, just like Jesus himself did. This is the part that really excites me. Indonesians loves stories and so do I, so the chance to just tell a whole bunch of stories with these people really excites me. This is actually my first missions trip, and I'm seriously pumped that its going to be in such a beautiful place like SE Asia!

I have no idea of what to expect, honestly. I have some idea from what we've learned about their culture and worldviews, but I'm unsure what our trip will look like. I love my team. They're really a bunch of great men and women and I'm humbled that I get to serve with them. I can't wait until we leave, which is actually in just one week!

Your prayers would be awesome as our team gets ready to leave and we would especially appreciate your prayers from Jan. 7-28 while we're doing some kingdom work halfway around the world.

2008 Chart Toppers

2008-12-19T23:08:00.006-05:00

Because all my friends are doing it, I'm going to jump off the cliff too and release my favorite songs and albums from this year. However, I'm not going to just put up my favorite albums/songs that were released just this year because then the list would be very short. So, these are the songs that I discovered this year as I continue to become more musically cultured. So, here it goes.

Top Songs of 08 (in no particular order):

Viva la Vida, Strawberry Swing, Glass of Water, Life in Technicolor ii - Coldplay
Before the Throne of God - Anathallo
Keep the Car Running, My Body Is a Cage - Arcade Fire
Brick - Ben Folds Five
Strange Times - The Black Keys
(Fork and Knife) - Brand New
Lua, Bowl of Oranges - Brighteyes
Cannonball, The Blower's Daughter, 9 Crimes, Dogs - Damien Rice
Stolen - Dashboard Confessional (don't judge me)
No Sunlight, Cath..., Long Division, Marching Bands of Manhattan, What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie
The Crane Wife 3, July, July! - The Decemberists
1234 - Feist
Middle of Nowhere - Hot Hot Heat
Come Downstairs and Say Hello - Guster
Love and Some Verses, Pagan Angel and A Borrowed Car, The Devil Never Sleeps - Iron and Wine
Human - The Killers
Float On, The Ocean Breathes Salty - Modest Mouse
Highly Suspicious - My Morning Jacket
On the Radio, Hotel Song, Fidelity - Regina Spektor
Love is Hell, Avalanche - Ryan Adams
Hoppipolla, Saelgopur - Sigur Ros
If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It, Lifeboats - Snow Patrol
Ageless Beauty, One More Night - Stars
Pork and Beans - Weezer
Radio Cure - Wilco

Top Albums of 08:

Viva La Vida and Prospekt's March - Coldplay
Narrow Stairs - Death Cab for Cutie
Begin to Hope - Regina Spektor
Illinois - Sufjan Stevens
The Crane Wife - The Decemberists
O and 9 - Damien Rice
Neon Bible - Arcade Fire
The Reminder - Feist
Once soundtrack
The Shepherd's Dog - Iron and Wine
Set Yourself on Fire - Stars
Hello, I Must Be Going! - Phil Collins
Good News for People Who Love Bad News - Modest Mouse

Disclaimer: The list is actually longer, but I had to draw the line somewhere.

i can see the stars from way down here

2008-12-14T00:53:00.005-05:00

Fall semester of junior year is done. I'm over halfway done with my college career and its really weird. I don't know how to feel about it whatsoever. Right now, though, I'm feeling pretty great about it. For one, its great to relax finally. The last two weeks of the semester were crazy. I think I had something going on every single night I was there. Needless to say, it is nice to not have a schedule for a bit.

Finals went well and I'm pleased with the work that I put out, even if it was rushed and done in a blur. I had some awesome nights (hanging out with Jo, Lighthouse stuff, staying up way too late with Thrush watching movies, finishing my freaking spanish paper) and some horrible ones (writing any paper last week, especially spanish, and dealing with some heavy stuff on the floor).

It is also great to have the chance to process everything that has happened this past semester. Being a PA is probably the best job in the world (for a college-age male living in a residence hall at a private Christian university), but I think I've been challenged more this semester than any other semester I've had. Ireland challenged me in very different ways, but this experience has been much different. Some days, it has sucked. Kind of like those days when you come back to your room, want to shower or something to try and get that nasty feeling off your body but know that it won't do any good because its your head that was getting taken through its paces and now that its finally to go to sleep, you can't because your head won't stop spinning from what you could have done differently or what could possibly happen next, or why God is teaching you these things in the first place, all the while thinking that it would be nice to concretely know what God was trying to teach you anyway.

But then you have those days when you come back to your room after being refreshed by hanging with a good friend or floormate and having him say that he won't know what to do with himself during jterm without you, just after having a great conversation or just cuddling with your amazingly wonderful girlfriend (who I miss quite a lot right now).

So I'm still processing this whole thing. I'm processing for next year too, as I'm still trying to decide what I want to do with PAing or off campusing or what have you. I want to devote jterm to my Lighthouse trip entirely and not think about things like that, so I would like to have pondered that quite a bit before i head out.

Overall, I loved this semester. It was a challenge and I've got a lot of growing to do still, and that excites me. God is faithful and I love Him for not letting me learn things the easy way so that I get the full experience and wisdom. Wisdom is a funny thing - it never comes easy, and I would never want it to come that way.

I really miss Jo.

I think I'm going to take a computer fast for the next week. I don't need it and I'm on break. Why not enjoy myself away from this old thing? So I will. Peace out.

Great songs: Love and Some Verses by Iron and Wine and Sæglópur by Sigur Ros.

true selves

2008-11-23T16:31:00.006-05:00

My head's been in another place these past few weeks, so much so that I forgot to meet with my Lighthouse prayer partner three separate times this week. Very embarrassing. I think part of it is that I've had very little time to process all the different things that have happened lately, and my head's kind of just full. I was telling someone earlier that I feel like God is getting ready to do something big, but I have no idea what it is and maybe its because my head's just too full.

I've realized that I'm very sensitive to ideas or attitudes that lie behind actions and words. I'm not very good at it quite yet, and I'm learning lately to ask good questions and really lead a conversation to where it ought to go. But some part of me really wants to understand why people work they way they do. Humans are truly fascinating creations, aren't we? We say one thing, the next day do something else. The human mind is incredibly complex, so much so that I wonder if I will ever truly know someone in their entirety. That's kind of intimidating upon first glance, but in reality, it makes life very exciting. If I knew someone so well that I could predict their actions time after time, that would be such a boring relationship! We may be creatures of habit, but that doesn't mean that habits are all we are.

I think I've forgotten that lately in my interactions with others. I have a tendency to put people in boxes (thanks Larry Crabb - you some good) that are defined solely by one or two things. I don't want to limit my interactions with others to be solely based upon one or two elements in their lives. I want to continue to learn to ask good questions that I may uncover more of their life and more of how Christ has brought His new life into theirs.

In turn, I want to be known in the same way. I don't want to limit myself in my interactions with others. I want to continue to uncover more parts of myself so that others can see my true self more clearly and take the opportunity to know me. I think too often we limit ourselves in our relationships by always behaving a certain way around certain individuals because we feel the need to keep up appearances, or because "that's just the way we work together." All too often do we allow our habits to define us passively, so that when we are known, all we are known as is "the guy who plays Halo too much " or "the guy that loves Lost a little too much" or "the girl who only says "like" in a sentence" or so many other things.

I want to make the distinction that I am not saying we should be untrue to ourselves for the sake of being "different" around others. Rather, I am saying that we need to allow our true selves to shine forth more than our false selves. Let people know you for what goes on in your head, not what your hands do. But remember that your hands need to match up with your head (James 2:17-18).

In the words of Steve Bays (lead singer of Hot Hot Heat), "unpredictability is my responsibility, baby."

Hopefully that makes sense. Like I said, my head's kind of full as of now. Personally, I think I had a concussion, but some people don't think so. To that I say "whatever, dawg". I love Ireland.

Also, if you haven't listen to these songs/bands:

- Somewhere only we know by keane

- THE NEW COLDPLAY CD THAT COMES OUT TUESDAY!!

- The Arcade Fire's cd "Neon Bible"

Fall Breezy

2008-10-19T15:33:00.006-04:00

Fall Break was this past weekend and I ended up having to stay at Taylor to be on-duty for the weekend. Basically, I got to sit in my room and barely leave the dorm. Technically, I'm still on-duty, so as soon as I can, I'm going outside for no apparent reason and just walking around. As boring as it sounds, my weekend was actually a really great one and I have been thinking about quite a few things over the course of my time off.

I've actually written and erased this last part of my post for about the past 1/2hr and decided that I haven't thought enough about what I want to say quite yet, so I'll post again sometime in the future (hopefully sooner than I posted last time), but I do want to say this last little part.

Rest is so good. And it comes in many different forms. This weekend was exactly what I needed. I'm fired up about this last half of the semester and I can't wait to have everyone back on the floor and on campus.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matt. 11:28)

And He does.

Props to Mom for bringing me lunch and good company, Yoder for a great conversation, Jake for teaching me how to play the original Zelda, and Justin and John for watching Close Encounters with me. Good jokes this weekend, good jokes.

Brace Yourself

2008-10-15T14:53:00.004-04:00

Thanks to the comment of someone I don't know (but most likely do, I just don't know their little blogger name), and the felt need to write for my own good, I return to you today, O Blogging world with new thoughts, but mainly, the need to simply release my synapses' firings into my fingertips.

Asking for God to make you a better and more humble man is a horrible idea, just so you know. Because He will do it. This year, I've decided to practice the spiritual discipline of meditation and each week, I pick a new verse or phrase or even just a word that I want to think about for the rest of the week. I was reading Job for class one day, and came across this verse:

"Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you will answer me." - 38.3

I thought I braced myself. I thought that God would go slowly, that He would take parts of me away and repair those before taking others to the shop as well. Turns out that if you want to move a house even six inches to the right, you've got to take the whole house down to its foundation and rebuild it in its new location. God has provided me with an amazing opportunity this year as a PA to get to know and build lasting relationships with the guys on my floor, but He's also put me on the front lines. I get shot first. But then I remember that I signed up to get shot anyway, why not be in the front lines?

This week, I'm focusing on a verse from John:

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." -1.5 (ESV)

I'm going to be very honest in this post. I've been very discouraged lately by this job. Its not that I feel inadequate or that I'm a bad person. Its more that I just don't think I'm living up to the expectations of the guys on my floor or of anyone else. In some of my decisions, I find myself questioning my actions or my motives, not because I believe that I might have done something wrong, but that people aren't pleased by my choices. I constantly find myself really wondering what the "good" thing to do because, in everyone else's eyes, my decisions don't seem to be "good". But a friend of mine put it well last night "It's all about who you fear most. God or man." I would rather be a man of Truth than a man that is simply likable. In all honesty, I have no idea if I'm doing a good job at that, or if I'm simply missing it on all accounts. What I do know is that I love God and am trying to become more like Him, and that I'm trying my absolute best to love people, even when they don't love back. Here's the prayer I've been praying for awhile now, written by St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Deep Waters

2008-09-11T00:55:00.004-04:00

A good friend of mine keeps pestering me to write another blog post, so I'm doing this mainly to please him and fulfill my quota for the month (sometimes I like to set my standards low so I'll exceed them and feel really good - but that's another story). Needless to say, this post will be short because its 1am and I'm ridiculously tired and have to get up tomorrow morning and talk about my feelings in my psych class. And as we all know, it requires much sleep in order to talk about feelings. Or stay awake, which is apparently an issue for me.

Anyway, I've discovered lately that ministry is still effective even if it only affects one person. My ministry might not, in fact, will not reach everyone. I've realized that it is ok for that to happen. I need to lay my messiah complex down and realize that I can't fix everyone. But in the end, if it was just one person that I impacted, then it will have all been worth it. I just wish that everyone could be that one person, but I'm getting used to that idea slowly.

Also, here's a good proverb:

"The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out."
- Proverbs 20:5

I'd like to draw out those waters.

Move In

2008-08-21T23:45:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow is the day the freshmen move in and the excitement begins anew as another year at Taylor University kicks off. I couldn't be more excited. I remember what it was like sitting in my bedroom, waiting for this day to come over what seemed to be a freaking long summer, and then having it finally arrive and being everything I desired, plus some. I can't wait for the freshmen this year to experience that as well.

For those of you who read this, here are some things to really be praying for this year and as the freshmen move in:

- That everyone, not simply the freshmen, would feel welcomed and accepted and loved by the other dudes on the floor
- That this year wouldn't just be "another year", but a year in which we can challenge each other and grow together in Christ
- That it wouldn't be me or Brad that appears the most, but God

There are obviously tons of other things that I could ask for prayer for, but I really would appreciate things just as general as this as the time passes while we live life together here in the dorms. I almost can't contain the joy that I have in taking part in this experience. God has seriously blessed me so much just by putting a man like me in this position. While I am so inadequate, God is beyond capable of accomplishing His work this year. Pray especially that God will just be the center of all we do. I pray that this selection of "The Breastplate of St. Patrick" will mark our floor this year as we go:

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right,
Christ on my life, Christ in breadth, Christ in length,
Christ in height, Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.

My name is Andrew Lehr, and I want to die tired.

These Summer Stars Are Fading Out

2008-08-09T16:05:00.004-04:00

Lessons I've learned this summer:

Don't forget your PIN number when paying for something. Its really embarrassing if you do.

Words have power. Don't forget to use them.

You can't choose what will impact others. Even if you are incredibly passionate about a certain something, that doesn't mean everyone else is, and you can't expect them to either.

Guilty by association is still a bad thing.

Your boxers can freeze. Surprisingly.

Be expectant of God, but don't expect Him to do exactly what you want.

Summer classes take a lot more work than expected.

I enjoy Coldplay now. And hate myself for it.

Don't go into Wengatz over the summer when there's any form of a camp there. Period. Even if its just to get your laundry. It isn't worth it.

"...Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." (Romans 13:10)

A New Perspective isn't always a good perspective.

Family is invaluable.

Ticket To Ride is the best game in the entire world. No exaggeration.

As much as I don't understand it, prayer really does work. Do it more often.

"How you spend your days is, of course, how you spend your life." - Annie Dillard

There's more, for sure. But I think this is a pretty decent summation. Guys, I'm really excited to go back to school. I leave Wednesday for Taylor and, although I have quite a lot to do before then, I am incredibly excited. God is already at work and I look forward to what He will do this next year.

FINALLY

2008-08-07T21:38:00.005-04:00

I've been taking an online class this summer because, as a CRAM staffer, I got to take a class for free. Great opportunity, right? Yes, that's true. That's 900$ I never have to pay. Good deal. Plus, the class I took was over the book of Romans, which has now become my favorite book in the New Testament. Great, amazing stuff. I've learned so much from this class.

I do not enjoy doing work over the summer though. It sucks. It is beautiful outside but I'm inside.

Overall, ask me anything about The New Perspective on Paul because I can tell you. Or about Romans (except don't ask me anything about Romans because I don't understand everything about it). Or, if you want to read my 12-page paper on the New Perspective, tell me and i'll email it to you. I like it.

Also, I go back to TU soon and I can't wait. The good times are a'comin'.

All For One

2008-08-03T00:15:00.003-04:00

I've been reading through Romans for a course I'm taking over the summer and I have to say, it is probably one of the more rewarding studies that I've completed in a long time. And by completed, I mean still have a lot of work left to do.

I find myself being very jealous of Paul. Christ specifically called him to be a minister to the Gentiles, and to preach the Gospel in places where it was unheard previously. And he's the one whose letters now fill the pages of the Bible! What an awesome opportunity he had! Just reading Romans changed the lives of people like Augustine, Martin Luther, John Wesley and Karl Barth.

One of the themes from Romans that I find myself pondering throughout the days is the idea of living among one another. Israel had been called God's chosen people from way back in the times of Genesis, and they all hold a special place in God's eyes as His chosen people. But because of their decision to leave God, he did everything he could to get their attention once again, even sending His son to die on a cross. With the gospel of Christ, the Gentiles (us, well, unless you are a Jew) were allowed into God's saving plan to make the Israelites "envious" of their position in God's plan. But Paul, in Romans, reminds the Gentiles to remain humble in their positions, because they are considered equal to their Jewish brothers, not above them.

In the same way, Christians are called to see themselves as equal to one another. This definitely can be hard at times. I was talking with my aunt today about how we both get frustrated when we find that people can't do things we just expect them to know how to do. For instance, I get really upset with people who are playing Ultimate Frisbee for the first time, and there is no reason for that whatsoever. In today's Christians culture, it is very easy to "size up" those around us. I've found this especially hard to do at a Christian university or school. We sit and start to talk about faith or some related matter, and end up discussing the nature of evil, when someone walks in and says something slightly less "well-versed" or somewhat of a lesser intellecutal degree and we instantly rule him out of the conversation. Or we start discussing a deeper theological concept and expect everyone else to be on the same page as us, but in reality, their page is on a totally different issue. Or we find that other's experiences are quite as up to snuff as ours. In reality, we get frustrated when people don't understand what we want them to. This is something that I have been learning this summer quite thoroughly - as the "too smart" guy and the "too weak" guy as well. I don't always see people through God's eyes, and find it very easy to see them through my own instead.

Paul calls us to not be a stumbling block to one another. In high school, I used to think that just meant asking girls to stop wearing mini-skirts and revealing tshirts. Fortunately, that isn't the extent of it. It means that we aren't to express our intellectual, spiritual, or physical superiority over one another. "Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters" (Ro. 14.1) It is so easy to start talking about pre-destination/free-will, or whether we should sing hymns or contemp. songs, and so many other things. And when people don't know as much as us, we get frustrated and degrade them. Paul calls us to allow other's whose faith is weaker than ours to take precedence over our current situations. If someone has a really big problem with swearing, it is better to not swear in his/her presence rather than, by our swearing, allow doubt and conflict to unnecessarily arouse in his mind and cause an undue stress to his relationship to God. People are just different and we must learn to accept them where they are. At the same time, we ought to strive to communicate our thoughts in order to help them grow in a positive way.

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification...So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves." (Ro. 15:19-22)

Even more new frontiers

2008-07-28T01:50:00.005-04:00

I've been a mad man when it comes to listening to music this summer. So I wanted to share some of the top songs I've had going through my head the past few days.

Believe by The Bravery

Good song. I knew I had heard it somewhere before and realized it was from the NFL draft this year.

How The Day Sounds by Greg Laswell

One of my favorite songs right now. He's got a great voice and his musical skills are off the charts. Here's another one of his songs for your listening pleasure (in fact, you can even download it!):

Days Go On

Sly by The Cat Empire

Really cool style and rhythm to the song. Very catchy.

You Can't Hurry Love by Phil Collins

Recently rediscovered this song and how awesome Phil Collins was back in his early days.

The Scientist by Coldplay

I will never forgive myself for giving in. It all started with Viva La Vida and I can't help myself anymore...World*, I am a hypocrite.

Learn to Fly by Carbon Leaf

No, its not a cover of Foo Fighters. I've always enjoyed Carbon Leaf, but this song and "Life Less Ordinary" are definitely by two favorites by them. Great band with a good sound.

Mainly, I just wanted you to check out the new blog title I've got up there because I love it. Love it.** It is a beach off the coast of Galway in Ireland.

*by "world" i meant "those of you who read this blog"
**here's to you, Whitney Smith

Common Place

2008-07-27T01:11:00.004-04:00

There's something about the smell of books that I love. I really like going to an old bookstore and cracking open some ancient book and just smelling it. I know, I'm weird. But the smell of old books - all the thoughts, the time, and the memories that they have - its good stuff.

In 2003, I began writing in a prayer journal. I had always wanted to keep something like that and after a counselor told me to start doing this, I have never looked back. It has gradually evolved from a list of prayers written on loose-leaf paper and stuck in a folder, to an assignment for my "Advanced Christian Thought" class (good stuff), to an extension of my heart, mind and hand. It's a "commonplace" book because it notes all of my meaningful experiences with culture, academia, society, and in all, God. This book, then, is quite literally, a "common place" for my thoughts because they all end up going there.

I'm now on my third journal and it won't be long until I'm ready for a fourth. One day, I'd like to fill and entire bookshelf with my thoughts in written form.

I can't do that with a computer's blog entries.

I don't want this blog to become the place where I write everything. I don't want this to become the place where I put most of my time - because, while I really enjoy sharing my thoughts with you, faithful readers, I have more thoughts that only matter between me and God.

It is so neat to look back and see how my writing has evolved and how I share my thoughts with God. It started out as a list of things to pray for, to a book of purely theological thoughts, to a book of theology, quotes, Scripture, pleas, petitions, jokes, a leaf from a concentration camp, lists, drawings, and prayers.

My challenge to you, dear friends, is to do the same. Reflection in today's world is so hard to come by. We run around and do more and more until we can't remember what we've done. Those thoughts that we had yesterday about God in our lives - we can't find them in our hurried and crammed brains. What God did in our lives can't be found in the pages of our hearts because we've had to scribble over that and mark something new. The changes we undergo find themselves unnoticed and fade into normality. By writing things down and reflecting on God's work in our lives we can remember more effectively His words and we can see a visible reminder of His faithfulness over the years. Typing them on a blog or what have you may be good because the information can be stored until who knows how long, but will you even be around to enjoy them when that time comes?

Take some time to reflect on your life. Recall the good times. Remember the bad times. Grow in their midst. Make your thoughts "commonplace".

Ode To Joy

2008-07-25T23:33:00.004-04:00

I love Beaker from the Muppets. That's all. Apparently my good friend Katie Westrate was reminded of me when she saw this video, so i'm not sure why I call her my "good" friend. I've watched it multiple times. Enjoy.

Summer Readings 3

2008-07-23T23:36:00.004-04:00

I just finished (finally) reading "Your God is Too Safe" by Mark Buchanan.

I enjoyed reading most of this book. I say most because after some time, the reading became repetitive and bland. But the cons will come later.

Pros:
The overall point that Buchanan is making is stellar and right on the dot. Christians have fallen into this idea that God is a "safe and cuddly" kind of old man who sits back and just lets things happen as they will. Not so much "safe" as in Christians aren't going out and standing on the streets yelling "I am in love with a man, and His name is Jesus" kind of thing; rather, it is that Christians are so content with their lives that they are unwilling to have the powerful God of the universe break into their lives and shake things up a bit. He makes excellent examples to what this looks like in our own lives and I found myself being very convicted about several areas of my life that I don't often allow God to enter into. I also love his sections on practicing God's presence, brokenness, and confession. I think he did an excellent job conveying very true ideas there. I'm also inordinately pleased that Buchanan included a C.S. Lewis reference to "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe".

Cons:
I did not like how he basically repeated everything that Richard Foster had to say in "Celebration of Discipline". It was as though he took Foster's book and changed the words around a bit to make it his own and spit it back out.
I also did not like his depiction of Jacob, but that is because I studied Jacob quite intensively last semester and had some differing thoughts on his wrestling with God.
I also did not care for his writing style. But that's because I'm a nit-picky English nerd who has read too many books*.

My overall opinion: Great ideas, good book, poor sections. But you should check it out anyway.
I now leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

"Is-is he a man?" asked Lucy.
"Aslan a man!" said Mr. Beaver sternly. "Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of the Beasts? Aslan is a lion - the lion, the great Lion."
"Ooh," said Susan, "I thought he was a man. Is he - quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."
"That you will, dearie, and make no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver. "If there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."
"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver, "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the king, I tell you."

*This is a lie. I can never read too many books.

Romans, pt. 1

2008-07-23T23:34:00.001-04:00

Wow. What a great book. Even after the 4th consecutive time.

Go read Romans.

Details in the future.

Gone Baby Gone

2008-07-16T21:32:00.004-04:00

My mom, though she refuses to admit it, has questionable movie taste. For instance, she drug my dad to see the movie "Norbit" back when it was in theaters. She owns "Bad Boys" (1 and 2) and "White Chicks." Don't ask me why. But every now and then, she gets lucky and selects a good movie to watch - this time being "Gone Baby Gone".

I've watched some good films in the last year, "Juno" probably being one of the best. The rest of the movies* like "Iron Man" and "Wall-E" were good, but "Gone Baby Gone" takes the cake and the punch. Yes, dear friends, both.

The film begins with the abduction of a little girl and the police searching for her. The extended family hires a private detective (the protagonist) to look for her and the trail takes him and his girlfriend around the inner-city area looking for clues to this girl's whereabouts.

The film deals mostly with the idea of morality. Who really ought to raise their children? Is it right or wrong to do things in the "name of justice". When is killing good, or is it ever? At beginning of the movie, the protagonist quotes the verse that says "You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves" - what does that look like in today's society?
So many great questions and discussions could be drawn from this film.

Go watch it.

*note that these are not "films". yes, i am a snob occasionally.

Expectant Holiday

2008-07-15T21:25:00.006-04:00

Things have been kind of slow ever since CRAM ended, so I haven't had the urge to really post anything of significance. I knew this summer was going to be slow, but I guess I didn't realize just how slow.

For the first time, I'm ok with that.

At school, I move too fast. Last semester was probably my hardest semester work-wise, not to mention other things such as YC, dating Jena, and so on and so forth. Now, I'm jobless and girlfriend-less. I am taking a summer class, so there's still work, but for the most part, I'm not doing much this summer.

Home is so good for me. I love spending time with my family. We went bowling tonight (I got trounced) and had a really good time. CRAM was a barrel full of jokes. I get to read all the books I don't have time to read during the year. I ride my bike a lot and not just because I'm going on a 60mile bike ride in August. I cleaned out my closet. I stained my grandpa's fence. And there's still a month left.

Past summers, I've tried to just shut down and veg for the summer.

This summer, I'm taking a holiday. Not a vacation.

Vacations are usually escapes from reality. Everybody piles in the van, rents a hotel room and lounges on the beach for days at a time. Brains shut down, hearts turn off and when everyone comes back, no one really feels energized or rejuvenated. For instance, Panama City with my family was a vacation.

Holidays, on the other hand, are times of rest. They are times when the family gets in the van, rents a hotel room and mistakenly goes on a twenty mile bike ride around Sanibel Island. They are the times that revitalize your life and the times in which you allow God to restore you. In the words of a good friend, you have to want it though. This summer is just that.

The more I think about what next year is bringing, I get more and more excited. Its been a year since I've been around TU for the fall semester and while I loved my Ireland experience, I'm really pumped to be back on campus for the fall. I'll be a PA on my floor, get a whole new load of bright-eyed freshmen noobs, complain about Airband, go to SE Asia with my lighthouse team in J-Term, and joke around with the best of them.

God's teaching me to be expectant about next year. Not to go in with specific expectations of people, events, or anything, but to expect that God will move. If I have specific plans that I expect God to meet going into next year, what good will that do if He decides something different is better? What if I expect the wrong thing from my freshmen? What if I expect the wrong thing from my friends? Instead, I expect God will do what He will - I just have to be on the lookout. In the meantime, I'm content to sit here and allow God to restore me.

Lack of Listening

2008-07-06T00:07:00.004-04:00

I watched Mean Girls with my CRAM staff a couple weeks ago, late one night. Sadly, I was the only one to stay awake through the whole thing. Kind of embarrassing on my part since I would laugh kind of loudly, alone, wrapped in a blanket, at silly high school girls that I've never seen in my life. Good to know that the others still liked it and had seen it before and were just tired.

CRAM, for those who don't know, is an intense three week period of time when jrs, srs, and incoming freshmen can come and take a couple college classes. I got the chance to serve as a PA for CRAM and listen to the stories of 36 amazing high school students. I was struck by just how willing many of them were to be open and vulnerable about themselves and seeking God's truth and healing in so many ways. Some of their stories cut me really deeply and I was struck by just how crucial of a time high school is for teenagers. I held conversations that seemed very simple to me, but these kids thought they were so deep and fulfilling. What a great thing! God can use my seemingly mundane and boring words to actually touch kids' hearts. It was a very humbling experience.

It was also very saddening to see how few of them engaged in serious conversations about life with their high school friends. I asked a couple students questions like "So what are you passionate about?" or "What's your story?" and would get a confused look and a cautionary response. Maybe its just part of the developmental process, or their upbringing, or their personal thoughts, but I just seemed to realize that most high school relationships are based on very shallow conversations that sometimes can appear to reach deeply. So, during CRAM, I had to learn how to ask questions. Good questions. Hard questions.

The deep conversations back then have a certain range. They include the heartfelt "Who's your crush?", the deep "Are you a Calvinist or Armininist?" and the pensive "What do you want to do when you're older?" These are, in fact, good questions (save the predestination/free-will one at that age) and have a place. I especially am fond of questions about personal life and their dreams and plans. Asking for a person's story is a great thing. I think the problem behind all of this, however, is the lack of listening that occurs. How easy it is to start in on a story of your own, or to turn the conversation to a lighter matter, or to simply ignore what the other person is saying! We've had a loss of listening in today's pop culture. We can't sit still and actually listen to other people any longer. We have to pass the buck on to someone else, we have to busy ourselves with tasks, we have to block out anything that makes us uncomfortable. Rarely can we ask the next question that will go deeper.

I want to learn to listen better. I want to be able to ask the right questions and say the right thing at the right time, even though I know I never will fully know what each individual person needs to hear at a specific moment. I guess I just want to understand people more and more.

On a lighter note, it is encouraging to think that these kids are now on their way to asking these hard questions of themselves and seeking others to have them ask them as well. I know many of the kids are planning on coming to TU, and that excites me - not just because I love the place, but because I know that they will add quite a bit to whatever floor or wing they are on. They are great people and I have learned so much from them and have been challenged to continue to grow in my own life. I don't miss high school at all and I wish I could take these guys and just put them on fast forward so they could be here faster. But I'm not the One in charge. They're where they are for a reason and I'm where I am for a different reason. Thank God for that.

Also, I think I might want to teach someday. I have no idea.

New Frontiers

2008-07-05T23:45:00.002-04:00

I've always loved music, but I feel like for a long time, I sheltered myself from the real music world. Yes, I was one of those kids that threw their non-Christian CD's into the fire at camp* - I admit it. But since then, I've grown to listen to more and more genres of music. I think my biggest breakthrough in music occurred just a couple weeks ago when the new Coldplay cd arrived on my computer and I decided to stop hating Coldplay. Which, in a sense, is admitting that I was pretending to be too cool for school and tried to be cool by hating something that everyone else loves. Also, I don't listen to that music screamo anymore, which is a good thing. But here are some bands that I've really enjoyed listening to as of late and thus recommend to you.

Modest Mouse
Never thought I'd say that I like them, but I really enjoy their music. They may be existentialists, but I still like the music they produce, especially Float On.

Sufjan Stevens
I know, I know. I'm a late-comer to his stuff and I've gotten over my dislike of his incredibly long song titles. I just bought "Illinois" last week and love it. Very creative stuff.

Damien Rice
I wish I liked his stuff earlier, like when I was actually in Ireland because I had a couple friends go down to the pub near our place and hear him play under a cover name. I'm an idiot. Also, The Blower's Daughter is one of my new favorite songs.

The Decemberists
Great band. Also Irish. Shout out to T-Mac and J-Killa for introducing them to me so long ago.

Ryan Adams
Talented lyricist and songwriter. He's got a good feel to his music and his story is really amazing. Wikipedia that trash sometime.

The Format
I've only listened to a few of their songs but really like their sound. Great lyrics and awesome sound.

Mika
Interesting dude. I think he's Russian too. Grace Kelly is a great song. Reminds me of Ben Blake, who I'm going to send this song to. The song doesn't remind me of him, in a sense of the words, but I think he'd like it.

Damien Juardo
Never heard of him before but really like his song Never Ending Tide and Texas to Ohio. Good jokes.

The Black Keys
Interesting band. I've only listened to one of their CD's once, so I don't have much to say, but I look forward to listening to more of them.

Led Zeppelin
And from left field, here comes Andrew, a bit late to the game and kind of stupid for hating them for so long. I hated too many good things just so that I could say I hated them. Sheesh, I was such a noob. I really like Over the Hills and Far Away because I think of Bilbo Baggins for some reason - don't ask why.

Secret and Whisper
Really like their lead singer's voice for some reason - probably just because its so different. Good new band - not too hard and great guitar riffs. Thanks to Erik with a K for the tip.

Most of the new bands come from Travis Yoder, the man himself, so thanks bro.

*I did not, however, throw away my Newsboys CD. Now, I wish that I had. yes, they are a Christian band.

Summer Readings 2

2008-06-26T14:39:00.003-04:00

I just finished re-reading Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings, and this time around I enjoyed it just as much, if not more, than the first time around. I know, I know - I'm a nerd for reading these, but I promised a friend of mine that I would give them another shot after stopping halfway through The Two Towers.

Tolkien does a great job of creating an environment in which you can fully delve and explore. The imagery of the setting and the surroundings of the different places the characters travel. He does a great job of setting up the story and the emotions that surround the characters, making the different events more dramatic and real to the reader. I really wish, however, that the characters were developed more in the books. The movies do a great job of creating the ethos of the Fellowship, and the characters have a lot more depth to them than the books do. I think character development is crucial to a book and when it isn't present, I get a little frustrated.

However, there are quite a few gems in this book. Tolkien does a great job of carrying subtle themes of love, loyalty, suffering, fraternity and unity throughout the book without beating them over your head, and I appreciate that.

Like I said, I left off in the middle of the next book, so that will be the true test as to whether or not I feel that this series is better as a novel or as a film.

Carry on, jokers.

CRAM

2008-06-17T12:27:00.006-04:00

CRAM started just a few days ago, but it already feels as though I've been here for a lot longer (in a good way). The kids are amazing and I've had a really good time getting to know them so far and spending time hanging out with my awesome staff. We joke, we talk, we watch movies like Closer and Saved! together (excellent movies by the way), and take things to a deeper level which I really enjoy.

I've found that things, however, are harder for me than I expected. Being used to college residence life, I find myself wanting to take my usual get to know you approach, which is not very easy in such a position as this. I only have three weeks to work with these kids, and I only have the words I know and think as my biggest tools. No longer do I have the ease of living life out in front of these guys, but I literally get to speak into their lives. I find myself knowing that I can talk to kids very easily, and that it is easy for me to empathize and communicate with younger generations. However, I find that the nature of this program lends itself to direct, intentional communication rather than a slightly more passive approach. Just a few thoughts on that, I guess.

Anyway, CRAM is amazing. I already have some great stories and its only the end of the first week. What jokes are to come? No one knows! But a joke is a joke, no matter how small.

Or huge in this case.

Viva La Vida still rocks. I can't believe I'm enjoying a CD this much. I have to say that I feel as though my musical taste might have just changed slightly as a result of this CD.

viva la vida

2008-06-17T00:08:00.003-04:00

i just wanted to say that i bought the new Coldplay album tonight and that I am listening to it right now.

i still hate the hype that they get because people just seem to jump on the bandwagon with many bands, but this CD legitimately grabbed my attention.

i do not apologize for hating coldplay all this time, and refuse to acknowledge that I was somehow "wrong", but I do recognize this CD as one that will probably be one of my favorite albums.

CRAM rocks - more to come on this later, like when i work the desk tomorrow i think? i should check on that.

Die Tired

2008-06-11T00:56:00.004-04:00

I ate lunch with a teacher of mine from high school who I respect greatly. He graduated from Taylor and has done many of the things that I either have done already or am going to be doing in the future. I value his advice greatly and I respect his thoughts - I have learned much from him. While we were talking today, he told me a story about Charles Spurgeon.

Charles Spurgeon was a Christian leader that pastored a church in the late 1800's. His church had a following of over 6,000 members. 6,000! Each Sunday, he would give at least four or five sermons; each service would hear the same sermon because 6000 people just couldn't hear him all at once. All of these he did without a microphone, so his voice would have to boom over the crowd in order for everyone to hear. Each week, he penned each sermon by hand, as well as wrote numerous other works. He was the only paid member on the church staff, so a majority of the leadership fell upon his shoulders. He made it a point to meet at least once for a one-on-one time with each male head of house in the congregation. He worked tirelessly, gave much, and lived deeply.

A friend of Spurgeon's once asked him if he needed a break ever because he just seemed to be moving all of the time. I mean, burnout almost seems inevitable when you are in such a position as this man. In a not-so-eloquent paraphrase, Spurgeon replied, "The way I see it, I have an eternity to rest, so I'll die tired."

This is exactly the motivation I needed to hear. Burnout has worried me ever since I started getting more involved in student development and youth. I found myself getting tired after my PA experience in Ireland, after Youth Conference, and so on and so forth. It is so easy to throw in the towel and turn inward instead of moving outward, and I find myself wanting to do that just as much as the next guy. And I recognize the need for personal growth. I know that I need to be poured into so that I can pour into others as well, and I feel as though that shouldn't be a problem next year since there are so many older, wiser and experienced individuals than me. But why not just turn myself off, turn off my emotions and my thoughts as I so easily can do?

Spurgeon hit the nail on the head. As Christians, we have the gift of eternal life in which we can rest in the arms of the Creator and praise Him along with our brothers and sisters. Forever is quite a long time, if I remember correctly. If we have so long to spend in heaven, what are we doing here? We, who have such a precious gift to offer, have a huge responsibility. As Maximus said in Gladiator, "what we do here echoes in eternity". I do not want it to be said of me that I gave just enough to get by and then took a breather whenever I could. I want to share in the sufferings of Christ so that I may also share in His glory, because what we go through now isn't even worth comparing to the magnificence that will be revealed within us (Romans 8:17,18).

I know that the road will be tough, extremely tough. But so was His.

Die tired.

quick thought on worship

2008-06-09T01:24:00.006-04:00

After spending a semester abroad with completely different opinions surrounding me within and without of the group, and after spending a semester living with my roommate, I've learned quite a few things about opinions and differing views. One thing I have yet to understand is worship. I try to maintain a balance of views on this subject, but there are just some songs that irk me. Check this song out:

I'm so deep in love
So deep in love
So deep in love
So deep in love (x3)

The verses you ask? Why of course, here's an example:

I've fallen deep in love with you
I've fallen deep in love with you
Deeper than any ocean blue
Depth that no death can hold me too
I'm so deep in love with you*

Worship Musician's Magazine says that this artist's "artistry, startling voice and very capable songwriting ability will eventually lead them to value the album as the fine work of art it is.”

Songwriting ability? I'm sorry, but I wrote poems similar to that in 6th grade, back when I thought all non-Christian music was bad and I burned my CD's at camp. "Deeper than any ocean blue"? Come on, seriously. And this guy's getting paid for that?! Why don't I get paid for writing this blog that no one reads except Ben and my parents?

I have 3 problems with this type of music:

1. The lyrics and thoughts focus primarily on ourselves. Of course, the Christian faith wouldn't exist if there were no followers; however, wasn't it God who first loved us?
2. There's no depth to this kind of "worship". I understand that worship is a personal process and that people worship differently than I. But seriously, chanting a mantra over and over again turns us into zombies. What kind of person would want to believe in a faith that chants "I'm so deep in love with you" over and over again? There's a difference between personal worship preferences and misinterpreting a worship experience for an emotional high.
3. This song and others like it are entirely too safe. God loves us, but He loves us so fiercely and unconditionally that he threw himself up on a wooden beam so that we wouldn't have to! He wants us to experience His life and His character, not just sing about how much we've fallen in love with him. As Mark Buchanan would say, this is a borderland song. This "god" is too safe.

I realize that I'm probably being overly-cynical and overcritical of this guy's efforts, and for that I want to remind you that I'm still working through all of these ideas - hence the blog's title. Also, its my blog. You didn't have to read it. I do give him credit because he's got a much better voice than I ever had/will have. But really, when you get right down to it, what should be our focus when we worship? Worship is something that has mystified and intrigued me for a couple years now, and I still don't understand the half of it. All that I can think about is this from C.S. Lewis' The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (I enjoyed the movie except for how they butchered this quote):

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the king, I tell you."

*If you ever sing this in church, please let me know. I will appreciate it.

LAB

2008-06-07T00:23:00.005-04:00

I've been known to have random connections occur in my head. For instance, a prime example consists of the infamous "LAB" incident of 2006. My friend Ben walks into my room and asks me a couple of questions about something that I deemed "inconsequential" in my mind, and have therefore forgotten. Regardless, he continues talking to me; however, that day, I had a lot on my mind. I had been working on a big lab for my chemistry class, and needed to finish. Ben then asked me a question, probably pertaining to something along the lines of "Could you explain how time works?" but I'm not sure. In my head, I thought the following (what happens in my head is italicized:

Ok self, I need to answer Ben's question

Blah blah blah blah answers blah blah intelligence blah blah

Wow, self, Ben sure is taking up precious time right now

Blah Blah blah blah crap blah junk blah pointless

I wish Ben would do his homework or something in his room

Blah blah blah

Homework...I have this huge lab to finish up

Blah blah blah

I really need to finish this now

LAB

I then proceed to turn to the computer and start working on my project again, fully focused and unaware that Ben is still standing there, shocked that I just suddenly stopped talking to him. Somehow I bring myself back to the real world, turn, and stare at Ben and ask "Did I just stop talking to you?". Its been a joke ever since.

I do weird things in my head sometimes. When I was younger...and still...I find myself planning escape strategies from places. I'll be sitting at a diner and think, "Ok, if that dude turns the table over in a fierce rage, and that lady smashes her glass on his head, I can kick that man in the face and sprint out the back door." No joke. I'm crazy. I don't feel too alone in this because I know there are others out there that feel what I do because I've talked to you about it.

Then I found this comic.

I have nothing else to add.

*Ok, now I have something else to add. I'm an idiot. Funny thing, when I was writing this, I couldn't remember whether it was Ben or Brad who I actually talked to, and I had used Brad at first. Apparently I was wrong because I just got a phone call from Ben Blake that says otherwise. Thus, I have changed all the Brad's to Ben's and ask for forgiveness. Ben, it was you who I completely ignored in my room that day and began the glorious joke of "lab", and apparently I am a forgetful story teller. I will have to work on these things.
Also, Brent called literally 10 seconds after I hung up with Ben. Apparently 10am is the time to call.

taking out the water

2008-06-05T00:12:00.000-04:00

After a few posts that have been kind of a joke, I find myself thinking a bit more seriously tonight. Today was a long day, starting at 5am when I woke to the crashing sounds of a thunderstorm. Feeling the urge to get out of bed, I ventured down into the basement to find yet another 2" of water waiting for my dad and I. What a pleasant surprise! We ended up moving everything out of the basement (again), called a plumber and literally swept the water out of the basement using a ShopVac. This is what gets me. In case you didn't know, there are things in most houses called sump pumps which take care of getting the excess water out of the house instead of doing things like, oh, flooding the basement. We had our replaced a couple of years ago I think, but get this. The plumber found a 14 year old broken sump pump underneath the one we just put it. So all this extra work was being done by the smaller pump, which explained why it just couldn't get all the water out. We replaced it and are just waiting for things to dry up before we move it all back down.

I've found my life is very similar to this in some ways. I have this bad habit of putting a lot of weight on my shoulders and taking on more responsibilities than I ought. I find myself thinking that I am more mature than most because I may be more intelligent, more experienced, or more adept than the next guy. I try to take care of the water problem on my own, trying to clear it out before someone else does it instead of me. Its like I'm just saying to the world, my family and friends "I can do it better than you, so please move out of the way."

I was reading a passage in 1 Corinthians, and this seemingly insignificant passage stood out to me:

"You know that the household of Stephanas were the first converts in Achaia, and they devoted themselves to the service of the saints. I urge you, brothers, to submit to such as these and to everyone who joins in the work and labors at it. I was glad when Stephanas, Fortunas, and Achaicus arrived, because they supplied what was lacking from you. For they refreshed my spirit and yours also. Such men deserve recognition." - 1 Cor. 16:15-18

Paul is reminding the leaders of the church in Corinth that they don't have every detail under control. These other people understand other aspects of life and leadership that the Corinthians just haven't understood as easily. I'm becoming increasingly thankful for those kind of people. The people that can speak another language fluently, the people that can play sports so much better than I, the people that can lead worship, the people that can spend days on end with kids shorter than my legs, the people that can relate to the people I can't, the people that devote themselves to prayer, the people that can, thankfully, not be me. It is these people that are the second, deeper sump pump, for they have supplied exactly what I lack. It is I who must learn to not give myself the responsibilities that others can fulfill 10x better. Becoming the body of Christ isn't about being a bit of every part; its about realizing what part you are and building relationships with those around you.

Tonight, I raise my glass to those that I have undervalued, and thank them dearly for taking out the water that I cannot.

Calvinball

2008-06-03T22:21:00.002-04:00

While I was cleaning out the basement, I found a box of old papers and projects that date all the way back to elementary school. Yes, the Lehrs are a family of pack-rats. We keep useless things for no real reason save for the fact that one day they might come in handy. For instance, I loved Hot Wheels as a kid, but they also had these things called Micro Machines that were even more awesome*. I will probably never play with these again, but I still want them. Oh nostalgia, you are a fickle mistress.

Anyway, while I was sifting through the countless papers, horrible self-portraits, and long-lost projects, I found one item that I am particularly proud of. If you ever read Calvin and Hobbes as a child, then you probably remember a little game called "Calvinball". It has been a goal of mine to actually play Calvinball with a group of people, but this is a complex process for a complex game. I found, however, the rules I had written out for Calvinball. Now you might be thinking "Andrew, this can't be! How dare you actually write out the rules to that game! Isn't it supposed to be a game without rules?" And I would say, you are wrong sir/ma'am, because Calvin accuses Hobbes of not playing the right way, thereby admitting to the system of rules he has set up. So anyway, to make a long story slightly shorter, I now give you the rules to Calvinball, as devised by a certain clever 10 year old.

1. Never play the same way twice.
2. You have to wear a mask.
3. Jump over wickets.
4. Hit others only with Calvinball.
5. Capture flags.
6. Make decree in pyramid of wisdom.
7. Catch water balloon in decree spot.
8. Spin in the vortex and boomerang spots.
9. Be a sheep in the sheepspot.
10. Walk backwards in those spots.
11. Act like a girl or boy in the Girl or Boy Spot.

I know, right?! Amazing! Pure genius! I've included a set up of a typical playing pitch (because that's a better word than field).

*If you remember and/or had these, give yourself +10. What ten you're getting I don't know, just understand that you want more of them.

weekend away

2008-06-02T00:25:00.000-04:00

I visited my good friend Steve Conn this weekend for a chance to get out of the house and have someone to watch the season finale of LOST with (By the way, LOST was crazy! We stayed up until at least 2am talking about different theories and the like - we're really cool, I promise). I also got a tour of Amish country and the different little shops around his town. I'm sure it didn't look at all suspicious when two dudes walked into a candle store. Whatever - I apologize for nothing.

That night, I went with Steve to his youth group's drive-in movie event, was forced to watch horribly long and mindless jr. high homemade videos, and then had the joy of watching National Treasure 2. And by joy, I mean quite the opposite.

If you've ever seen this movie and enjoyed it, there can only be two reasons:
1. You were half-drunk, enjoy history but don't care that much about it, had just broken up with your girlfriend/boyfriend, and had absolutely, positively nothing else to do other than breathe.
2. You're an idiot.

Reminiscent of the Da Vinci code movie, and of course, its horrible first installment, NT2 fulfilled all my worst expectations for a movie. The plot line left me asking questions the entire time (How is Abe Lincoln at all connected to El Dorado?), the characters were stock and unconvincing, and the dialogue was written by a 10th grade kid struggling in English class. Needless to say, I hated it. What is it with today's society and movies that only seek to amuse us? I use the word "amuse" because that is exactly what we are doing. We turn off our brains, sit back with our mega-bucket of popcorn, and let the media overtake us. Maybe I'm being overly critical, and I can't say that I don't watch trash (i.e. Napoleon Dynamite, etc.). But seriously, a good movie has value, transcendence, something deep that the director is trying to say about humanity, because in the end, that is the thing we know best since we are humans. I'll stop my rant before it gets started and just say that if you're going to watch a movie, watch anything other than NT2.

The next day, I drove home to find a flooded basement and two tired parents. We cleaned and got rid of a ton of stuff that was just piling up, so in the end, it paid off to have water leak up through our basement floor. Today, I got the chance to see my good friend Titus who just graduated from high school. If I may say so, he is a stud and one of my greatest friends. I've learned a ton from him and am so happy to see him go on to college next fall.

I'll be finishing up cleaning my basement tomorrow, and with any luck I'll find that my coffee table has a hidden symbol that was connected to the Grand Duchy of Wales, who overthrew a tyrant king giving him a new ring which is the long lost key to a scroll that has a clue to the whereabouts of the lost colony of Roanoke. Take that, Nicholas Cage.

Next Big Thing

2008-05-29T01:13:00.000-04:00

This summer I've already developed one bad habit and I'm only on my second week of break.

Top Chef.

yes, you really did just read that. i'm addicted to it. for some reason I can't help but watch as these guys and girls compete in cooking competitions. I first was intrigued when I was at Marty's house one night. After we had watched our weekly episode of the Office (although it might have been LOST that night, I'm not sure), she flipped on the ending of the Top Chef episode that she had saved on TiVo*. I was awestruck! These people can cook more than just a peanut butter and jelly!

Now usually, or at least when I've watched cooking shows, it's usually really boring, gross, and they use really nasty looking foods. But this show makes even the nastiest sounding foods look appetizing. (Unless the guy loses because his food sucks, which apparently necessary for a TV show such as this because there can really be only one Top chef.) But I would seriously eat anything that one of these guys set down in front of me, regardless of whether or not I had hated the food before that time**.

You know, now that I think about it, this year has involved quite a lot of cooking for me. In Ireland, we cooked our own meals for the group on the weekends, I watched "Ratatouille" a few times, and now Top Chef has got me craving more (pun intended). Back when I was in fifth grade or something, I remember setting a goal to cook a meal every other Friday. I only cooked it once though.

Perhaps I've found my true life's calling this year: to be the next greatest Chef to hit the world. Revolutionize the world through food! This could be a second chance from my fifth grade failure! Who knows what secrets lie in the realm of the culinary arts!

Thusly, I have decided that once I graduate, I'm opening up a gelateria in some big city, importing gelato from Rome, and turning it into a sweet hangout for teens and young adults in a relaxed, Christian atmosphere. This seriously can be the next big thing. Everyone likes the idea of hanging out and talking in a coffee shop, but why not a place that sells ice cream?! Everyone loves ice cream, and gelato is even better! Gelato, for you noobs, is ice cream made from milk and sugar and comes from heaven. No joke. An angel dipped his hand into God's storehouses and accidentally dropped it down to the Italians before he could eat it himself. Seriously, God's looking out for us, and the proof is in the gelato. But back to my idea, what can you think of that is cooler than a sweet hang out place that sells amazing ice cream?

That's right. You can't think of anything else. And if you can, don't tell me.

For the record, I've been thinking about this for awhile, so if you're interested in partnering up or something like financially backing, let me know.

*TiVo is the shizznit.
**I'm very picky too, in case you didn't know, which makes it all the more emphatic.

a moment with a poet

2008-05-25T23:57:00.000-04:00

While I was in Ireland, one of our projects that we did with our Irish professor, Jenny Lewis, was to create a poster that showed how we had changed over the course of the semester. At first I found this very challenging because I'm not as creative when it comes to "artistic" things as I'd like. It didn't help that all of the girls were finding little things out of newspapers that said the exact phrase that they needed like, "Made new friends" and whatever. So I had to resort to phrases that I had to explain, such as "Party Animal", which fit pretty well actually, and other things. At some point, I must have gone crazy because I started writing in my journal and apparently what I wrote was a poem. So I wanted to share it with you for no apparent reason other than to show you my complete lack of poetry-writing skills. So, here you are. Also, I'm really proud of the title of this blog.

Things are just different.
And in the end the same:
The one-line-finale, the
happily-ever-after...

Ever after what?

After this:

After pain shared.
After joy seen.
After the unknown
After laughs!
After tears,
After listening.
After letters to family,
After missing out when we close our eyes too fast, but even more when we close our
eyes
too
slowly.
After...
...
...ssh...
...
..
.
And somewhere before the afters
There is me.
Just me. Myself.
And You.

While the "afters" and "befores" and "ends"
May matter to us so much,
They all change.
Yesterday's before was last week's after and
This week's after will be the next before
And tomorrow's before and yesterday's after is
NOW.

So before I write this down,
after this line ends,
my mark will simply
BE.

Summer Readings 1

2008-05-21T01:09:00.000-04:00

I just finished a book called "Peace Like A River", written by Leif Enger. You need to read this book. Seriously. I know it has a cheesy title, but you really need to read this book if you enjoy any of the following: the country (not its music, but the idea of the wide open west), horses, fiction, outlaws, excellent writing style, character development, cinnamon rolls, rivers, heaven, reading, breathing, or the Dakotas (which applies really only for Brent and Cook).

This story reads like a lemonade on a hot summer's day. It's refreshing, encouraging, and if you put it down but drink the rest later, it tastes just the same.

Reuben Land, an 11-year old boy, and his sister Swede and father go in search of their brother who has become an outlaw. That's basically it. They go all over the place while Reuben wrestles with ideas of brotherhood, redemption, forgiveness, and faith. I was skeptical of this book at first because I'm not very prone to pick up overtly-Christian books, especially ones that have a pale blue cover and a title like "Peace Like A River". But apparently this book really resonated with me, as well as Time Magazine, Christian Science Monitor, and the Los Angeles Times.

If for nothing else, read this book because it has this amazing line in it: "Hope is like yeast, you know, rising under warmth."

Firebird's Retirement

2008-05-19T00:25:00.000-04:00

I worked at a camp last summer called Gull Lake Ministries, and one of the traditions they have at this camp is nicknames. A few days (regardless of whether or not you wrecked your car on the way there), you get seated down in front of a crowd of people that you've only known for four days on an uncomfortable bar stool. You start to feel slightly nervous because everyone's excited except you, but apparently this is part of your job so you grit your teeth and bear it. These random people then proceed to ask you random, idiotic questions ranging from "What's your favorite cereal?" to "If you could be any kitchen appliance, what would you be?", and even as far as "You make a noise that sounds relatively (but not really) like a bird. Do you like Monty Python and the Holy Grail?"*. Later, after a horrible series of silly questions, I received the nickname "Firebird" for the entirety of the summer. I would leave the camp knowing few other counselors real names instead of their camp names, not having a single one of my kids know my real name until their last day there, and bruised pride.

Needless to say, I hated the camp and not just because of the stupid nickname. I have several other good reasons to dislike this camp. I know this is a shock to all my friends, so hopefully you all take it well**. In fact, I've been angry and bitter towards this camp for almost a year now. And I hate it. You know those times when God really wants to teach you something and you know He does, but just refuse to let Him? Its been like that with this camp and it frankly sucks.

This bitterness and anger has been eating away at me now for quite some time. I don't like it and I want to get rid of it. I'm working through this idea of anger, and it seems as though there is a time for righteous anger, but an emphasis on turning that anger into forgiveness. Of course we should be angry about the injustice of this world, about the poor and marginalized. But who really does when it is so much more easy to be angry at the person who got the job instead of you, or the friend who left you hanging that one time? We harbor our anger in our bodies, trapped behind bars that can't be opened. We stay angry at silly little things that shouldn't have bothered us in the first place instead of getting fired up about a child not getting any food for three weeks in Africa. It is easier to put what wrongs us behind bars, rather than setting free the captives of this world.

In my heart, I've been putting this camp into a cell and keeping it captive. So I've decided to write a letter** to GLM. I'm not putting it up here because there's no need.

What I want you all to know is that forgiveness is so vital to our lives. It frees us from so much unnecessary stress and bitterness that we put on ourselves. I hate to break it to you, but most of the people who have done you wrong probably have forgotten about it by now anyway and you're the only one who can remember it now. The main person you are hurting is yourself. All of that anger yields nothing good. Don't just let go of the anger, but lay it down at His feet.

*I'm not lying, though I wish I was. This one was actually asked during my session.

**And by "all my friends", I really just mean my mom, who is the only one who reads this. There would be at least one more (my dad) but my mom found it unimportant to tell him that I had started a blog. Hi mom!

breakthrough No.1

2008-05-16T00:51:00.001-04:00

i know its late but i wanted everyone* to know that i got a hug from aaron reiskytl today, who really hates giving hugs and i would just like to say i felt honored. that's all.

Move Out

2008-05-15T20:33:00.000-04:00

I find that on move-in day and move-out day, I see more people than I actually know live in my dorm. Its kind of strange actually because you'd think it would be really easy to meet most of the people that live in a dorm as small as mine.

Moving out is kind of strange because I found all these things that I had forgotten I had brought with me this semester. Luckily, since I was in Ireland last fall, I didn't have to bring a whole bunch of stuff this semester, so I can fit it all in my car (hopefully). I found a whole bunch of things, such as a t-shirt that I have yet to wear since I got it at Christmas, a case to hold my Wiimotes (which is a cool word, so deal with it), and that's actually about it. It wasn't nearly as exciting as last year when I couldn't see the floor for most of the year living with the infamous Ronnie Whitacre. There were unspeakable things that we found cleaning up the room...no, it wasn't really that bad.

But seriously...

So you might think that I'm going to say something about searching our lives to find the sins that we've hidden even from ourselves and bringing those out into the open, or that we really need to "take out the trash" in our lives. But I'm not going to.

I'm going to say, instead, that I wish I could find my favorite pair of socks that I lost last year. And that I'm really excited that I can fit all of my junk in my trunk.

Out.

A Bowl of Oranges

2008-05-14T09:47:00.000-04:00

Everyone tells you that your sophomore year of college is the hardest. Not just academically, but in every other aspect of life (or the wellness wheel, if you will) as well. Now I won't say that this year has been the worst year of my life, because that is definitely not true. However, it has been one of the most challenging years, and I feel like I've grown immense amounts over a short period of time.

In the fall semester, I traveled to Ireland as one of the Personnel Assistants for a group of 28 freshmen Taylor students. I got to travel to over half of the counties in the country, visit some of the most beautiful places I will ever see in my entire life, and eat really good food.* I had the unique chance of getting to invest and mentor 10 amazing young men of God, and found in return that they would challenge and invest in me just as much. I thought about ideas that I had never even wanted to think about before, such as the idea of serving God overseas or understanding the importance of simple language in a culture. God used that semester in so many distinct and unique ways that I feel I will never fully understand.

In the spring, I was back once again on TU's campus amongst my brothers on 1st Berg, sans several important individuals such as Chris Snader, Danger Conn, and Chris Harman. Ronnie was gone too, but he's coming back so I don't apologize from leaving him out of this list even though I guess you could say I included him by adding this addendum. Anyway, the spring brought about new challenges as I attempted to integrate my new cultural self back into my old friendships and roles here at Taylor.

When I got back to Taylor, I remember thinking "Man, Andrew, things are going so well for you! You're freaking sweet and everyone loves you! Isn't life great?" Things were really going my way and I wasn't afraid to admit it. However, pride does come before the fall, and my head got a little too big for my own shoulders, massive as they might be. God humbled me and helped me to recognize that He is the only One in whom I can boast.

In a song by the band Bright Eyes, one of the lines reads "Your eyes must do some raining if you're ever going to grow". Christian growth is never easy. It hurts. Things aren't a cakewalk for a reason. The first commandment that God gave to Adam was to "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill the Earth! Take charge!" (courtesy of The Message, which I have really come to appreciate, but that's another post for another day). God placed us on this earth so that we might share in His experience since we are made as reflections of the Creator. We create as God created. We love as God loves, or at least try to. We think logically (sometimes) like God. Placing us on this earth gave us the chance to experience God. But experiencing God isn't easy. Christ says to take up our crosses and follow Him. Growth, then, depends upon brokenness and a willingness to be repaired by God. Growth means that we are willing to hurt and cry and scream out to God that we can't do it on our own.

The song ends with these lines:

And we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.

God constantly is trying to show us more of Himself, and sometimes we need to hurt in order to experience it. But in the end, we too can be that "bowl of oranges" that God designed us to be: beautiful and peaceful. God has been teaching me to find my cross, to pick it up and bear it, and to one day, be a "bowl of oranges".

And I have no idea how to end this, so I'm just going to.

*By really good food, I mean food that is better than the DC. For a good story, ask me about a batter burger.

There's A First Time for Everyone

2008-05-06T00:48:00.000-04:00

So I tried to blog some last year in order to feel more hip and with the ever-changing socio-technological scene that I am confronted with almost daily. It doesn't help that my roommate is a Computer Science major and therefore feels some strange desire to keep up with the modernized world.

To illustrate just how behind the times I am for a young male college student, I'm still using a 6G iPod mini. Since I bought my iPod in my sophomore year of high school (which was now four years ago), the following iPod models have been released:

iPod Nano (three generations)
A new iPod shuffle (which my mom has...my mom)
A newer classic iPod
iPod touch
iPhone (which is basically an iPod that you can talk to)

Please don't consider me conceited or shallow just because I'm semi-complaining about the lack of iPods that I have. Far from it - I have no money to even consider buying a new one. Suffice it to say that I have not even remotely considered buying a new iPod, despite all these new additions. I like what I've got and I'm sticking to it.

So now, since I'm caught up with the times and I'm getting a blog so that people like you can read about my life, I'm almost positive that there will be something else that will be introduced soon that will take me another few years to even consider beginning on my own. On this blog, I'll be writing some really silly snippets like this, telling stories of high intensity and adventure, and sharing the ways that God is moving in my life. Thanks for coming along for the ride.